Can A Sober Living Program Help Your Teenager?

Sober Living Program | Transcend Texas

Life post-rehab can be incredibly hard on a teen. Not only do they have to deal with their newfound sobriety, but they’re pressured to stay sober whilst getting back into life with all its responsibilities, including school work, creating and maintaining a social life, and struggling with questions of identity and motivation. Some teens feel like their past behavior was a let-down, prompting feelings of shame – others find themselves crushed under the stress of real life right after a stint in rehab. That’s where a sober living program comes into play.

To many, inpatient residential programs simply do not provide enough time for a patient to acclimatize themselves to what life is like after drug use and sobriety. It’s massive shift, and the difficulty of it can be a little much. Parents often turn to outpatient programs to help their children adjust, but there’s more to sobriety than asking for help. Learning to deal with all of life’s difficulties outside of rehab is an essential part of anyone’s journey through recovery – but far too many teens are returned into the same environment that fostered their addiction, surrounded by temptations that might allow them to return to drug use.

That is where a sober living program can help.  A Sober living program is unique from outpatient programs or other post-rehab treatment plans. They involve integrating people into realistic, responsibility-oriented environments, without the temptation of drugs. Here, teenagers and adults alike can adjust to life outside of rehab by applying for work or school, socializing with other sober people, creating support groups to prevent relapses, and regularly joining into meetings and activities.

 

How A Sober Living Program Works

Sober living programs can be built in many versatile ways, but they all follow a basic set of unspoken, unwritten tenets defining what a sober living program is:

  • No drugs, alcohol, or late-night guests. To prevent the temptation towards using again, sober living programs are strict about the possession of any addictive substances. Some even control alcohol-containing items such as mouthwash. A strict curfew also forbids tenants from staying out too late or bringing guests in for in-house parties.
  • Chores and bills are necessary. A strict schedule is laid out to ensure that everyone in the program does a set number of tasks or chores per day, and takes care of their bills and costs. Adult tenants must have a job or must be searching for one while paying their monthly costs, while teens still in school must stay in school.
  • There are mandatory events and meetings. Everyone must attend group counseling sessions or community meetings, although you’re not forced to attend every single one. It’s your choice whether you prefer to keep to yourself, save for the mandatory meetings.

An overview of a typical sober living program will give the impression that all sober living facilities are extremely strict, terrifying places to live. But that is not how they’re run. The basis of sober living is to give teens and adults a structure to adhere to post-rehab, to give them the skills and habits they’ll need to maintain their sober discipline outside of addiction treatment facilities. At times, this may require tough love. It’s possible to be kicked out of a program for possessing drugs, or failing to go to school/work.

Ultimately, these aren’t prison camps or military training facilities – they’re programs meant to help people struggling with addiction get better. Most sober living programs consider people’s unique circumstances and disabilities, and help them fit into the program. Individual therapy and counseling is combined with the program’s mandatory group therapy to provide a private space for tenants to air their worries and address their concerns. Some people struggle not just with addiction, but codependent mental disorders such as general anxiety and PTSD – as such, everyone’s individual treatment is different.

 

Why Sober Living Is Perfect For Teens

Sober living programs help teens establish habits that make life without drugs much easier. They teach teens how to take control of life and establish a productive schedule, regardless of what a teen may eventually want to do in life. They help them manage their time, apply focus and mindfulness in everyday tasks, and work with others to improve themselves.

A sober living program typically emphasizes social ability and communication between tenants to help individuals foster a sense of community among one another, and create the sort of inspirational, motivational air needed to make it through the first few months of recovery.

Responsibility and discipline are central to sober living, not just as a program but in general. When addiction sets in, it can take over the way your brain interprets pleasure and completely change the way you feel joy and happiness for years to come. Fighting against that – fighting against your own mind – requires dedication and a powerful motive. For teens, finding that motive can be difficult.

A sober living program will take it upon themselves to help their tenants find that reason to stay sober, and use it as motivation even in the darkest of times. Because a sober living program typically does not have a time limit, they are also an ideal choice for post-rehab treatment as they allow tenants to stay until they feel ready to move on without the stringent structure of a sober living environment.

 

What is Life At A Sober Living Community Like?

Life At A Sober Living Community | Transcend Texas

A sober living community is a neighborhood, building or private complex typically owned by a company or association, with the purpose of treating substance abuse and addiction through the method of sober living. Life at a sober living community is a bit different than in rehab.

Unlike other treatment facilities, sober living communities don’t necessarily treat their tenants as patients, but as tenants. Sober living communities are often meant to be post-rehab treatment facilities where people can go to transition from the sheltered life of residential treatment, to the harsher responsibilities of living alone or in a family.

Life at a sober living community is typically distinguished by their rules: they have strict curfews, require employment or active job seeking, and give each inhabitant a schedule by which they must orient themselves until they feel ready to leave the community. Sober living communities are almost always entirely voluntary (unless court-ordered), and have a very strict no-drug policy.

 

Life At A Sober Living Community Simplifies Real Living

Life at a sober living community is structured to provide autonomy and teach self-sufficiency, while providing a structured community living wherein all tenants are compelled to come together for regular group meetings, cooperate in community events and activities, and help each other in especially trying or troubling times. These are secular facilities, and treatment is typically not compounded with any 12-step programs or religious material. Instead, tenants are encouraged to seek alternative treatment and therapy outside.

Life at a sober living community emulates many of the responsibilities of real living. Tenants are expected to regularly pay for rent and utilities, stick to the schedules and deadlines, and do their own chores to keep their living space clean. This type of residency is specifically for people who find it difficult to stick to schedules after rehab, and require the incentive and assistance to develop self-discipline. Living in a sober environment can do wonders to people struggling with life outside of rehab.

Self-sufficiency is a major part of life at a sober living community. A huge challenge for people straight out of rehab is to adjust to the difficulties of making payments, meeting deadlines and fulfilling job obligations without the stress-relieving qualities of drug use. Because drugs completely neuter the neurological benefits of most healthy stress management techniques, it can take time and a lot of practice to get back into managing stress completely drug-free. That time is best spent in an environment that safely emulates life’s challenges.

 

All The Challenges Of Life Without The Temptations

Life at a sober living community is strictly drug-free. While relapses are not necessarily punished, hiding contraband or using on the premises can be enough to get kicked out of a sober living community and sent back into residential treatment. The pressure to not use is relieved by the support and motivation that living in a community of sobriety can give you.

Tenants are encouraged to help one another, inspire, and assist. While each case of addiction is unique in its nature and circumstances, being among other sober people can help bring interesting perspectives to the table, and can help people figure out new ways to deal with their addiction.

Life at a sober living community is built around the concept of support in recovery. Peer support is integral not only in maintaining sobriety, but in promoting empathy and a fulfilling cooperative spirit.

 

You Begin To Have Fun Again

Enjoying yourself is an integral part of life at a sober living community. While drugs flood the brain with pleasure, they take the joy out of living by neutering your ability to feel much of anything else. As your brain combats the changes of drug use, life will begin to feel like living again – and with that comes a host of different emotions, joy included.

Learning what it’s like to enjoy yourself and have fun doing things that have absolutely nothing to do with drugs or the drive to procure them can be a liberating experience. It can also be encouraging. However, it can also be difficult to manage. As with everything else in early recovery, it’s important to approach this with laser focus. The structure of life at a sober living community helps immensely here, as it allows you to exploit that early enjoyment as a way to build new habits and replace the obsessiveness of substance use with the passion and focus of having a new hobby to care about.

Overcoming addiction isn’t a straightforward process, and it doesn’t just “go away” quickly. The process takes years, and there will be plenty of trying times. Sober living is meant to give you a massive leg up on the situation by pushing you into getting used to a new life without the temptation of drugs, so that when you go back into the real world, you’ll have the job and the schedule needed to focus on the things that really matter.

 

It Teaches You To Be In Control Again

The biggest danger to such a program is excessive stress. Stress is often what triggers a relapse, as old habits resurface when a dire situation develops. Building a resistance to the kind of stress that puts you off your game – massive anger, tremendous grief, a major injury and weeks of downtime – isn’t really possible. Instead, it’s important to build a mechanism for building that stress off. That’s where fun comes in again.

When you begin to have fun in recovery, you’ll have the opportunity to find ways to take care of major stress. One of the biggest challenges with addiction is that it very quickly wires itself to our stress coping mechanism – instead of anything else, we turn to drugs as a way to deal with highly stressful situations because they’re effective at completely distracting us from the problem at hand.

When drugs are no longer an option, problems become very hard to deal with. Reteaching yourself to use other ways to cope with stress and calm down only becomes possible when you start to see the many alternative ways life has of being fun and enjoyable. You begin to turn to art, writing, exercise or music as a way to build off stress. And best of all, all these things are constructive and effective ways to deal with stress, rather than putting you in increasingly stressful situations.

 

What Should I Look for in a Sober Living Community?

Sober Living Community | Transcend Texas

Living in a sober living community has proven to be a popular and highly effective way of staying sober after rehab – but just like any other addiction treatment program, not every sober living community is made the same. When choosing a sober living community, it’s important you know what you should be looking for – and why.

A sober living community is an alternative to outpatient programs, and are typically elected as an additional measure towards addiction treatment after a stay at rehab. While rehab can help get people clean, staying clean out in the world is very different from staying clean in a rehab facility.

Sober living communities emulate the struggles and challenges of the real world while offering an entirely drug-free environment, and only sober social interaction. It’s meant to teach someone how to live a sober life again after being heavily addicted, and it’s meant to provide an environment where someone can explore living a fulfilling life without the temptation of another high.

These neighborhoods and buildings exist for the express purpose of staying clean – but every neighborhood has a slightly different idea of how to hit that criteria. There are variations, oddities and signature programs that make every sober living community unique, but in general a quality sober living community should involve four simple and important tenets into their philosophy. These are:

 

A Solid (And Strict) Plan

First and foremost, a good sober living environment should be rather strict and structured. While it is meant to be a living experience where one must deal with all the responsibilities of living a normal life (paying the bills, finding and maintaining a job, fulfilling social obligations), most of the time a sober living community comes with very stringent guidelines when it comes to drug/alcohol possession, drug/alcohol usage, and guests (especially late at night).

However, a great sober living community does not just ban drugs – it creates an alternative. Boredom could be considered one of the reasons relapses happen, and eliminating that boredom means making sure as much of a person’s time is spent being busy. A sober living community with regular programs, group meetings, activities and mandatory job searching/school attendance is a great start. Sober living environments should make it their priority not only to keep drugs out, but to keep the inhabitants stimulated.

Self-sufficiency is the goal here. These programs are excellent to help someone relearn what it means to be consistent and disciplined – with about 90 days, most people will have built the consistency needed to continue on their own. Of course, that does not necessarily mean they have to.

 

No Definitive Time Limit

You might find a sober living community that offers a restriction on how long you can stay with them, but it isn’t recommended to choose a community that does this. While you are by no means meant to spend a lifetime in a sober living home, you should spend as much time as you need before moving on. Self-sufficiency within the first year is difficult to achieve, and it’s best to spend no less than three months in a sober living community before moving on to either live on your own, or better yet with family.

Do not expect recovery go happen quickly. Progress is made slowly, over months, often at an unnoticeably slow pace. Because of how sobriety works, it is a fantastic idea to supplement your recovery with a goal you can actively work on. If you write, then working on a book or a large writing project gives you something to look forward to, to measure both your writing and sobriety progress. If you are into sports, then look into completing a fitness challenge as a way to improve on all levels.

No matter what it is that interests you, incorporate it into your sobriety. This lets you send yourself a clear message that you intend to focus on seeking out natural, rewarding pleasures rather than the artificial quick fix of an addictive drug.

 

Social Involvement

It’s a community for a reason. A sober living community that puts an emphasis on encouraging social interaction and living a social life is the better choice here. Even for people who feel uncomfortable with heavy social interaction and tend towards a more introverted life, occasional mandatory group meetings are excellent as a way to create a more open perspective, see into other people’s particular struggles with addiction and, one day, as an opportunity to open yourself to others in a similar position (and feel the relief of doing so).

Aside from mandatory group meetings, a good sober living community will have other optional activities to choose from and join, from team building events to occasional community games or competitions.

 

A Focus On Self-Improvement

Self-improvement is perhaps the biggest deterrent to relapses, alongside accountability. By effectively creating or recreating a fully-fledged life, you give yourself even more incentive to stay away from your old habits at any cost, even when things are looking grim. However, self-improvement is difficult to think about in early recovery. While there are people who feel manic in their first few weeks of sobriety, others feel gloomy or even depressed. It may take some people a while to adjust to the emotional changes of living drug-free, especially within the real world outside of rehab.

An encouraging atmosphere is a wonderful way to start. Self-improvement, tough as it may be to find the motivation to get started, is necessary for long-term improvement. One of the more effective ways to tackle addiction recovery is as an opportunity towards self-transformation, rather than as the consequence of a bad few months/years. In the interest of working towards that goal, finding a sober living home that promotes several self-improvement programs and encourages its veteran members to take on mentees and help others towards their passions and dreams is a fantastic idea.

At the end of the day, there are many ways to run a sober living environment – but it is vital that any community you choose to be a part of emphasizes:

  • A solid structure
  • Lots of social involvement
  • An open-ended program capable of sustaining someone for months if they need it
  • And an environment conducive towards self-improvement

Sober living communities are a wonderful way to supplement a “complete” addiction treatment plan, especially as it helps not only teach someone how to live drug-free again, but it gives them an opportunity to live with others and share their experiences.

Sober Friends – The Guide To Making Friends After Recovery

Sober Friends | Transcend Texas

Sometimes, you must take a risk to gain something worthwhile. Sometimes, that risk may be embarrassment or rejection. Yet when you stand to gain a friendship lasting a lifetime, the risk is always worth it. Having “sober friends” after recovery can be a big help to keeping you on your new life path. These kinds of friends are the people you can spend time with while sober and not feel pressured to drink or use.

Sobriety without friends is harsh, grueling, and one of the most difficult things to go through. You’re training your brain to deal with stress, anger, and sorrow without its favorite coping mechanism, all while fighting the instinct to go back to your old habits and live inside them in comfort. Few people can go through sobriety and loneliness at the same time.

But having friends is about more than just making your recovery easier. It’s about having sober friends – it’s about having people you can rely on, trust on, listen to, be heard by, and more. Sober friends are there for you, they’re the family you choose, and they can help you out of a pinch and provide you with more happiness and joy than a million shots of vodka. However, finding new sober friends to have fun with and live life with while staying sober can be a little challenging.

If you’re open to being open, to taking a few risks and to accepting the possibility of some awkward beginnings in exchange for two or three of the best platonic relationships in your lifetime, then take on this guide to making friends in sobriety, and begin your journey towards having a lot more fun in life.

 

Find Sober Friends And Hobbies

Step number one is to find things to do that don’t involve alcohol. Preferably, do things that you enjoy. This may be painting, or swimming, or playing video games, or reading books, or any other hobby among millions of choices.

Then, have a look around to see who else shares these hobbies. As we live in the age of the Internet, a quick search online will give you an idea of where to start locally in your search for some new sober friends. Don’t go into step one thinking of picking up new contacts – instead, think of pursuing your hobby even further, and just start a few casual conversations.

 

Share Experiences Through Group Support

Aside from finding people unrelated to your sobriety, one way to both find a way to vent about your own sobriety and hear what others must say in the struggle through their recovery process, is through your support group. Find a local support group or start one, encouraging those in recovery to come forward and meet up on a regular basis to give updates, check up on each other, and talk about emotions, struggles, pitfalls and speed bumps.

Hearing others talk about their own perspective on sobriety can help you adjust and improve yours, and find a way to better deal with the effects of recovery and regain control over yourself. It can also be a great way to meet like minded people that make good sober friends.

 

Go To Events And Workshops

Once you’ve chosen a hobby you are really interested in, take it to the next level by going to events and workshops to both become better, and meet others with the same level of passion and commitment. Fitness expos, yoga training camps, art and writing workshops – there are countless places, events and organized meetups out there for you to explore and potentially find new people.

It’s alright to be shy at first – especially if you’re self-conscious. Overcoming that feeling is part of the recovery process, as is gaining a stronger self-esteem and becoming more confident in yourself – and taking the first steps to make new friends helps with that tremendously.

 

Write About Yourself

Writing an anonymous journal or starting a blog with a pseudonym is one thing – and it’s most definitely a healthy thing, if any of the copious literature on blogging and journaling has anything to say about it – but if you’re looking to make sober friends and find new people to talk to and share life experiences with, then consider putting yourself out there through blogging and social media.

Blogging is a fantastic way to meet other people in the scene, both new and old. Sober living blogs have been around for about if blogging became a thing on the Internet, and many of the most popular blogs continue to be written by single individuals sharing their life experiences on the path to recovery, including their experiences with new people and fresh faces.

You don’t have to be active on Facebook, write daily tweets, post a daily Instagram picture and become glued to your Snapchat account all while juggling a blog – choose one or two things to use for finding new people, and have fun. Instagram is an effortless way to find likeminded individuals, as it lets you easily sort through pictures by interest with the use of hashtags like #soberliving.

If you’re uncomfortable with the idea of using your real name and finding real people in your area to talk to, then consider joining chatrooms instead. There are plenty of online chatrooms dedicated to sobriety, alcoholism, drug use and mental health issues – but if you want to expand into territories that have less to do with your sobriety and more to do with your interests, feel free to search to your hearts content – with Discord, Slack, and a slew of IRC channels, you’re bound to find a chatroom somewhere on the Internet where several people from across the world are talking about the same thing.

The world is smaller than ever thanks to the instant communication afforded by the Internet – and that is something that should empower you, rather than scare you. Overcoming your addiction will take time, but time spent having fun goes by twice as fast, and if you make new sober friends, you’ll find yourself out of your first year of recovery in absolutely no time. It’s natural to be anxious at first – and you’re bound to run into some bad apples eventually. But you’ll find out that with practice, meeting new people becomes easier and easier – and with a little time, you’ll have your social anxieties under control enough to make new friends to share your time with.

 

Putting Sobriety First

Putting Sobriety First | Transcend Texas

When you finally get sober, it’s a new beginning and fresh start. The real work begins to rebuild your life, relationships, and trust with others. Not to mention the rediscovery of yourself. Taking responsibility for what you’ve done is a great first step. Devoting time to putting sobriety first is absolutely necessary in order to assimilate back into society. At times it may seem selfish, but in the end, it’s the best thing you can do for yourself and others.

Devoting the time to sobriety just as you did for your addiction should come first. Putting what is most important first helps to set priorities and creates a sense of purpose. Recovery is not something that just happens. It takes time and work. Putting the effort in will pay dividends later on. Putting sobriety first will keep you alive, but also give you something to look upon as an accomplishment. Being able to set goals and reaching them is amazing.

When you get sober, the urge to help others comes in your mind a lot. Before you start helping others though, you have to make sure you are healthy enough to take that on. The weight of other peoples struggles will wear on you if you aren’t strong enough.

With the addictions you had, that wasn’t the real you. Instead you were masking yourself and emotions. Sobriety lets you see things clearly and for what they are. The idea that you are nothing without sobriety is real for a lot of people. Self awareness and care is not just for you but for those around you as well.

For more on putting sobriety first, visit Sober Nation.

Making Sober Friendships in Recovery

Sober Friendships in Recovery | Transcend Texas

Sober friendships are a great way to start a new outlook on life when you are in recovery. Recovery from drugs and alcohol is a very taxing event on your mind and body. The number one priority is to maintain your sobriety. The last thing on your mind is the thought on making new friends. Though if and when you do, these new people in your life can help to not only give you the support you need but to also help in guiding you on a new life path. Sober friendships can help to put you at ease in surrounding that might trigger old feelings, and help to resolve any issues you might have with older friends. There are a few ways to make new sober friends and continue your path to recovery.

Taking up a hobby that involves other people is a great way to meet new people. Sports, music, exercise, biking, classes, and many others are great ways to find new friends. New activities and friends can help you both achieve what you need. Support groups are another great way to meet new sober friends. Joining a group that focuses on your issues will help you to find common ground with someone new. Partaking in sober activities and functions are another way to find new sober friendships. You can find these events online or even through meetings and support groups.

For more on sober friendships visit Life Hack HERE