Living in a sober living community has proven to be a popular and highly effective way of staying sober after rehab – but just like any other addiction treatment program, not every sober living community is made the same. When choosing a sober living community, it’s important you know what you should be looking for – and why.
A sober living community is an alternative to outpatient programs, and are typically elected as an additional measure towards addiction treatment after a stay at rehab. While rehab can help get people clean, staying clean out in the world is very different from staying clean in a rehab facility.
Sober living communities emulate the struggles and challenges of the real world while offering an entirely drug-free environment, and only sober social interaction. It’s meant to teach someone how to live a sober life again after being heavily addicted, and it’s meant to provide an environment where someone can explore living a fulfilling life without the temptation of another high.
These neighborhoods and buildings exist for the express purpose of staying clean – but every neighborhood has a slightly different idea of how to hit that criteria. There are variations, oddities and signature programs that make every sober living community unique, but in general a quality sober living community should involve four simple and important tenets into their philosophy. These are:
A Solid (And Strict) Plan
First and foremost, a good sober living environment should be rather strict and structured. While it is meant to be a living experience where one must deal with all the responsibilities of living a normal life (paying the bills, finding and maintaining a job, fulfilling social obligations), most of the time a sober living community comes with very stringent guidelines when it comes to drug/alcohol possession, drug/alcohol usage, and guests (especially late at night).
However, a great sober living community does not just ban drugs – it creates an alternative. Boredom could be considered one of the reasons relapses happen, and eliminating that boredom means making sure as much of a person’s time is spent being busy. A sober living community with regular programs, group meetings, activities and mandatory job searching/school attendance is a great start. Sober living environments should make it their priority not only to keep drugs out, but to keep the inhabitants stimulated.
Self-sufficiency is the goal here. These programs are excellent to help someone relearn what it means to be consistent and disciplined – with about 90 days, most people will have built the consistency needed to continue on their own. Of course, that does not necessarily mean they have to.
No Definitive Time Limit
You might find a sober living community that offers a restriction on how long you can stay with them, but it isn’t recommended to choose a community that does this. While you are by no means meant to spend a lifetime in a sober living home, you should spend as much time as you need before moving on. Self-sufficiency within the first year is difficult to achieve, and it’s best to spend no less than three months in a sober living community before moving on to either live on your own, or better yet with family.
Do not expect recovery go happen quickly. Progress is made slowly, over months, often at an unnoticeably slow pace. Because of how sobriety works, it is a fantastic idea to supplement your recovery with a goal you can actively work on. If you write, then working on a book or a large writing project gives you something to look forward to, to measure both your writing and sobriety progress. If you are into sports, then look into completing a fitness challenge as a way to improve on all levels.
No matter what it is that interests you, incorporate it into your sobriety. This lets you send yourself a clear message that you intend to focus on seeking out natural, rewarding pleasures rather than the artificial quick fix of an addictive drug.
Social Involvement
It’s a community for a reason. A sober living community that puts an emphasis on encouraging social interaction and living a social life is the better choice here. Even for people who feel uncomfortable with heavy social interaction and tend towards a more introverted life, occasional mandatory group meetings are excellent as a way to create a more open perspective, see into other people’s particular struggles with addiction and, one day, as an opportunity to open yourself to others in a similar position (and feel the relief of doing so).
Aside from mandatory group meetings, a good sober living community will have other optional activities to choose from and join, from team building events to occasional community games or competitions.
A Focus On Self-Improvement
Self-improvement is perhaps the biggest deterrent to relapses, alongside accountability. By effectively creating or recreating a fully-fledged life, you give yourself even more incentive to stay away from your old habits at any cost, even when things are looking grim. However, self-improvement is difficult to think about in early recovery. While there are people who feel manic in their first few weeks of sobriety, others feel gloomy or even depressed. It may take some people a while to adjust to the emotional changes of living drug-free, especially within the real world outside of rehab.
An encouraging atmosphere is a wonderful way to start. Self-improvement, tough as it may be to find the motivation to get started, is necessary for long-term improvement. One of the more effective ways to tackle addiction recovery is as an opportunity towards self-transformation, rather than as the consequence of a bad few months/years. In the interest of working towards that goal, finding a sober living home that promotes several self-improvement programs and encourages its veteran members to take on mentees and help others towards their passions and dreams is a fantastic idea.
At the end of the day, there are many ways to run a sober living environment – but it is vital that any community you choose to be a part of emphasizes:
- A solid structure
- Lots of social involvement
- An open-ended program capable of sustaining someone for months if they need it
- And an environment conducive towards self-improvement
Sober living communities are a wonderful way to supplement a “complete” addiction treatment plan, especially as it helps not only teach someone how to live drug-free again, but it gives them an opportunity to live with others and share their experiences.