There are times when someone you look up to, inspires and influences you comes into your life in a particular way. During the 1990’s Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails was deep into the lifestyle of rock n roll, and the excess of drugs and alcohol. After a meeting with one of his inspirations, David Bowie (who had been sober for many years), it was determined that Bowie and Nine Inch Nails would tour together. While on tour, Trent was delving deeper into his addiction, something that David knew all about due to his own past struggles. One of the things that David said to Trent that always stuck with him was “You know, there is a better way here, and it doesn’t have to end in despair or in death, in the bottom.”
After some time, Trent finally got sober. A few years later, Bowie came through L.A. Reznor been sober for a fair amount of time, and wanted to thank Bowie for the way he helped him on his path to sobriety. As they were talking, David said “I knew. I knew you’d do that. I knew you’d come out of that.” That moment has stuck with Trent Reznor since it happened.
It’s very possible to have an interaction with someone who you’ve looked up to. But to have the ability to make a difference in someones life takes it to another level.
For more on Trent Reznor’s story visit Rolling Stone HERE
From 1981 to 1997, Pat O’Brien was a sportscaster for CBS Sports. Following his departure, Pat continued his career as an anchor on Access Hollywood and The Insider. In 2005, O’Brien entered rehab for his alcoholism after a scandal in which he left several graphic voicemail’s. Since the scandal, Pat has embraced his path to sobriety, as today, he helps many celebrities that are going through the same difficulties he went through.
As you progress in your recovery from addiction, you may need to continue to stretch yourself. You may need to create new goals and set your sails for greater and greater horizons to raise the bar on your recovery. You might have gotten sober, but perhaps you’re still not living the life you want. Perhaps you’re still struggling with issues that feel like obstacles in your healing.
The following suggestions might be useful in giving your recovery a boost. It can help you raise the bar on your recovery so that it helps you heal all areas of your life, not just healing from addiction.
Focus on Hope – There are many definitions of hope. However, one that is simple and useful is: looking forward to something with desire and having a reasonable expectation that that desire will be fulfilled. If you don’t have any hope, it’s hard to create it. However, you can begin to focus on an imagined future. What do you hope to do, wish to have, or hope to become? What is even the smallest possibility you wish to have in your life?
Set Clear Goals – With the above questions answered, you can start to create your goals. The advantage of having goals is that then all of your choices can be focused in the direction you want. And you can have your goals in mind throughout your day, which can trigger ideas and help you take advantage of opportunities you might not have thought of before. With goals in mind, you can move closer to them versus remaining stagnant.
Positive Relationships – Although there are some people who prefer to spend their time alone, when you’re in recovery, having a community of people around you to support you can be incredibly effective. This is especially true if those people believe in you and if they can see in you the possibility for change. Having meaningful friendships where you can be yourself is important during recovery.
Successful Role Models – When you spend time with others who have achieved long term sobriety, you can learn from them. But more than that, they tend to have a particular mindset that you may not have yet developed. And in their company and by conversing with them, you might start to develop the mindset that they’re in rather than a mindset that has been holding you back for so many years. Having successful and healthy people around you can support your growth.
Time for Self-Care – Relationships, careers, finances, and home life can begin to break down with the presence of addiction. For this reason, one way to counter the destructive elements of addiction is to find time to care for yourself. This might mean taking a long walk in the evenings or spending time with someone you care about. It might also mean time for yoga or meditation. Or it could simply mean playing ball with friends. Whatever activity is nourishing for you, making time for it throughout your day can be an essential tool to use during your recovery.
These are tips for expanding your recovery so that you feel supported in all areas of your life. The best recovery is a holistic one, one that addresses your physical, emotional, psychological, social, and even spiritual well being. If you would like support with your recovery, contact a mental health provider today.
When you come out of a treatment center, there are always those around you that think you’ll be fine just hanging out like you used to. Yet those friends don’t quite understand that being around these situations could act as a trigger to revert back to old ways.
Restraint is something that is a much needed coping mechanism to help deter one from falling down that old path again. Resisting drinking socially, is quite hard once you are out of recovery, especially when all you want to do is be with your friends. Putting your best interests in front of others is key to staying sober. Sobriety first. If the situations are making you uncomfortable maybe it’s not the right time to be there.
Perhaps if you plan on going out to a party for the evening, you bring your own non-alcoholic beverages. Most people who are hosting parties will be perfectly fine with that. Find other people around at the party that are doing something else besides drinking. Start playing a game with others to keep you busy and entertained. Some people there will want to try and delve into why you are now sober. You don’t have to answer that question, as it’s none of their business.
There might come a time when you are more than comfortable talking about your journey to being sober. Other times, not so much. The only thing you can do is what feels best for you. Maintain relationships with those around you that make you feel comfortable and respect your decisions. It’s perfectly fine to be a little apprehensive about going out with others. Trust your instincts and keep company with those that can help you keep you in check.
For more on how to deal with these situations read more on The Fix HERE
Once you’re begun your sobriety and you’re a few months into it, you probably have a lot of recovery support in place. You might have a sober community because of the 12-step meetings you’re attending. You might feel supported by your family and friends. And you might be working with a therapist, sponsor, or mentor. Although you might feel supported in your recovery, there are times when you might need to reach for extra support. You might need to call your sponsor or mentor out of the blue because you’re feeling triggered, stressed, or overwhelmed.
It’s important to have a crisis plan while you’re in recovery. You never know when there will be a situation in which you need recovery support. And in worst case scenarios you might feel like reaching for a drink (or drugs) instead of the phone. Instead of calling your sponsor, you might call an old drinking friend. You might resort to old coping methods when things get tough. Having a crisis plan gives you clear instructions for what to do when you’re having trouble in recovery.
Here are examples of situations in which your sobriety might be jeopardized. These are situations in which you might need to call for extra recovery support:
Too much stress at work or school.
Stress in your relationship.
Family responsibilities are too overwhelming (such as many children to care for).
Running into old drinking or drug using friends.
Feeling alone or lonely.
Experiencing symptoms of a mental illness, such as depression or anxiety.
Experiencing overwhelming feelings (that substances used to keep at a distance).
Financial trouble.
Not having basic needs met, such as housing, income, and clothing.
Worried about friends or family members who are still using.
Death of a loved one.
Physical health issues.
These are just a few examples of circumstances that can make recovery difficult. You might have all the support you need, but certain situations can create triggers and cravings. In these situations, it’s important to call for extra support.
Here is a list of people you might reach out to in order to make it through a difficult period:
Sponsor
Sober Mentor
Therapist
Psychiatrist
Psychologist
Drug Counselor
Sober Friend
Family Member(s)
Staff at Out Patient Facility
Staff at a Treatment Center
When you face difficulty in your recovery, you can make a list of those you might call as a part of your crisis plan. In fact, you can include their name, number, and an emergency number, if they have one. You might also list them in order of priority to you and under what circumstances. For instance, you might call your sponsor over your therapist if you’re experiencing cravings. But if you find out your cravings are a result of a possible mental health condition, then you calling your therapist would be better.
In fact, you can work with a mental health provider to create a crisis plan that works best for you. He or she might have ideas to add to your plan that you might not have thought of. Or you might create the plan with another sober friend who wants to do the same. Either way, having a crisis plan can you feel more supported throughout your recovery.
If you are reading this on any blog other than TranscendTexas.com, it is stolen content without credit. Connect with us on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Stay informed with the latest industry news, here on our Living Sober Blog.
Recovery is often a two-step forward, one-step back kind of experience. Because of the many opposing feelings a recovering addict feels (wanting to get sober and not wanting to get sober at the same time) it can feel difficult to keep your eye on recovery. For instance, you might be doing well with your sobriety and then suddenly you run into an old drinking friend. You remember the good times, the laughs, and the how much fun it was. And you find yourself being pulled back to drinking.
That kind of going backwards (even if your mind) can create obstacles for moving forward. Truthfully, relapse begins with one thought. And with enough attention to that thought, you might think to yourself, “Well, one drink won’t hurt.” It’s this kind of back and forth in recovery that can make abstinence difficult to sustain.
However, when you have a goal, there’s something that’s drawing you forward. You have a vision, an idea of what you want in the future. Many life coaches describe it as having a compass and a direction. With a goal, you have the power to direct your life to stay on one course. And depending upon how badly you want that goal, you’ll work hard to ensure that all your choices are in favor of reaching your goal.
Here are a few common goals that recovering addicts are reaching for and what’s propelling their sobriety:
Go back to school and earn a degree.
Find meaningful work or achieve in your career.
Better tend to the needs of your children.
Heal your marriage.
Get married again.
Restore your health.
Rebuild family relationships and friendships that were damaged by the addiction.
Express yourself in healthy ways such as through painting, playing music, or dancing.
Get out of financial debt.
Learn coping skills to manage life’s stress without substances.
Find a community of friends who value sobriety and who I can have fun with in safe and healthy ways.
Learn how to overcome character flaws, such as impulsiveness, which can contribute to relapse.
Learn how to stay in touch with what I’m feeling and when so that intense feelings don’t lead to substance use.
Learn to love yourself and others.
To help you with feeling like you are moving toward your goals, you may want to come up with smaller objectives. Because as you get closer and closer to your goals, there are many benefits to be gained, which in turn can support your sobriety. For instance:
Experiencing a greater self esteem and self worth.
Experiencing a greater sense of self-confidence.
Feeling good about your life in general.
Boosting your commitment towards sobriety and where your life is headed.
Depending upon the goal, it can bring a great sense of joy. For instance, if you got sober to get your children back, then having this happen can be a great success.
It can boost your confidence in reaching other goals.
It can give you a more optimistic view of their life.
Reaching a goal can prevent relapse.
You might see that setting goals and reaching them creates a positive cycle. Achievement brings positivity and positivity brings more good feelings. This ongoing cycle can help you feel great again and again!
If you are reading this on any blog other than TranscendTexas.com, it is stolen content without credit. Connect with us on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Stay informed with the latest industry news, here on our Living Sober Blog.
It’s hard to completely avoid alcohol in a society that is forever promoting it. At any kind of celebration, you’re likely to find alcohol being served. And with the changing laws regarding marijuana, it too might be a substance that you can access easily. If you’re concerned about your loved ones or developing an addiction yourself, can you prevent addiction?
First of all, it’s important to remember that addiction is an illness. It’s a disease that affects the functioning of the brain. And once the brain is altered by the continued use of substance use (or addictive behaviors such as gambling, shopping, eating, and sexual activity), then a person begins to lose the ability to stop.
It’s possible for a person to be using drugs or alcohol and never develop an addiction. However, there are some factors that can influence the functioning of the brain and make a person vulnerable to developing addiction. These factors include:
Genetics
Environment
Lack of coping skills
History of trauma
Mental illness
According to research genetics plays a 50% role in whether addiction will develop. However, it’s important to keep in mind that someone might have addiction in their genes, but if they never touch a drink or drug in their life, then genetics won’t be a factor. However, if a person had a tendency to drink on occasion and if he or she went through a difficult period in her life as well as having a genetic predisposition to addiction, then the illness of addiction might develop.
Along with genetics, a person’s environment can have an influence on them. For instance, research has found that children who are raised in families with addiction are 8 times more likely to develop an addiction. It’s common for family members to develop certain roles in response to the one who is suffering from the addiction. Other environments that can have an effect on someone include a drug-using college scene and an at-risk neighborhood, in which many individuals are using substances to cope.
Lack of coping skills can also contribute to addiction. If a person does not have the tools to manage uncomfortable feelings, they may develop the habit of using drugs and alcohol as a means to feel better. Over time, this continued habit can turn into the illness of addiction. Along those lines, a person with a history of trauma will likely also have many uncomfortable feelings that they will try to avoid. They might also turn to alcohol and drugs as a way to cope.
Also, an addiction might develop when someone with a mental illness continues to turn to substances to manage their symptoms. It’s common, for example, that someone with depression, might turn to drugs or alcohol as a way to manage their depression. And it’s common for people to do this despite not knowing that depression is what they are experiencing. However, the low mood and sadness prompts them to drink or get high in order to shift their mood.
The best way to prevent addiction is to remain abstinent. Because virtually anyone can have any one of the above factors that contribute to addiction. When a person avoids alcohol and drugs (and addictive behaviors) entirely, they have a greater chance of avoiding addiction as well.
If you’re going to set some goals for yourself in recovery, there’s a few important steps you should know about how to do that. First, having goals is important! If you don’t have any goals, then you may not know what you’re reaching for. When you’re in the middle of a craving, for instance, and if you have a goal for the future, you’re more likely to resist the craving because you know what you’re staying sober for. Goals give us direction, hope, motivation, and the power to keep going when faced with challenges.
If you don’t yet have a goal, think about what you want. Are you getting sober in order to advance in your career again? Are you getting sober to heal a marriage? What would you like to see happen in your life? Once you have an idea of what you want, begin to formulate a sentence about it. For instance, your initial goal might be “I am sober to repair my marriage and in the next six months I will call my spouse every day.”
Now that you have a rough idea of what you want and you’ve formulated it into a sentence, consider the following guidelines for making a goal SMART:
Specific – A goal is specific when it is clearly defined. If a goal is not defined well, it might be too general that you won’t know exactly where you’re going. Often a goal can lead the way. It can be the light at the end of the tunnel.
Measurable – One way to make your goal specific is to make it measurable. Make it something within your reach so that once you get there you can reach for another goal.
Attainable – Having goals that are unrealistic and unattainable only set you up for failure. Once you reach a goal it can boost your confidence and keep you going stronger than before.
Relevant – Your goal should be relevant to the direction in which you want to go. Although you might have goals in other areas of your life, if you’re focused on your sobriety, your goals should be recovery-related.
Time-Bound – Goals also need to have a deadline. I’m going to attend AA meetings for onemonth in order to boost my sobriety and lifestyle change. Goals need to have a time limitation on them so that you know the time in which you want to achieve them.
Now that you know how to make a goal SMART, think again about that goal. It was: I am sober to repair my marriage and in the next six months I will call my spouse every day.”
Perhaps this goal can be revised a bit to make it more SMART-friendly. For instance, you may need to separate this into two goals. One to address your sobriety and the other to address the marriage. Calling your spouse once every day for six months does meet the criteria above. It is a goal that is specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound. To add to this, you can create a second goal about sobriety, such as, I will remain sober for at least six months and attend one 12-step meeting each day and call my sponsor weekly. Of course, these two goals together can support each other.
For success in your sobriety, it’s incredibly important to have goals in your recovery! Now, you know how to make them SMART.
If you are reading this on any blog other than TranscendTexas.com, it is stolen content without credit. Connect with us on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Stay informed with the latest industry news, here on our Living Sober Blog.
According to an article in The Washington Times, hundreds of men and women pass through sober living homes and successfully reach sobriety. The Washington Times article describes a sober living home located in Mississippi where residents are given a chance to start a new life after addiction. But it’s not only in Mississippi, sober living homes around the country are essential for anyone who needs professional support with healing from addiction.
In fact, many of those who begin to get help for addiction are in dire situations. They often have little money, no housing, and a group of friends or family still involved in drug use. However, staying at a sober living facility gives a person the opportunity to make changes they want in life.
One study found that sober living homes are an effective option for healing from addiction. The research found that those who were involved in 12-step programs, had a strong network of support and were living in a drug free environment tended to reach sobriety with few or no relapses. The study made clear the importance of social and environmental factors in recovery.
Of those who participated in this study, there were improvements in the areas of alcohol and drug use, arrests, psychiatric symptoms and employment. The study also confirmed that there are certain factors that predict better recovery outcomes, such as high involvement in 12-step meetings, little alcohol and drug use among peers, and a low severity level for any presenting mental illnesses.
This is important for recovering addicts to remember. It’s not only having a safe and substance-free environment that’s important. Recovery also needs to include the participation in 12-step meetings, working through any mental illnesses – if there are any, and avoiding friends or family members who may still be using. And with this there is a good chance that a person will remain sober. Fortunately, many sober living homes provide not only a healing environment but also the extra support to stay sober.
In fact, research indicates that of those who get professional help, one third of men and women will achieve long-term sobriety with their first serious attempt at recovery. Another one third of will have brief relapse periods and then achieve abstinence, while another one third will go through chronic relapses before eventually recovering from their addiction. Of course, the journey of recovery is different for everyone. Whether one relapses or not can depend upon the length of one’s addiction, the drug of choice, psychological health, the level of support, and types of recovery services a person is involved with.
Just like the sober living facility described in the article and like most sober living homes around the country, having a place to live that provides a structured environment, healthy meals, a community of sober-minded individuals, and life goals to pursue helps recovery addicts stay sober.
Without residing at a sober living home, it might be challenging for someone to get sober on their own. There are frequently triggers in one’s home environment and there’s more probability for relapse to occur. Yet, even if someone were to relapse while at a sober living home, there’s a good chance that the support of professionals and friends can easily bring a person back to the road to recovery.
If you’re trying to stay sober, then you’re likely gathering a number of tools to stay relaxed, focused, and centered on your sobriety. In fact, one primary set of tools all recovering addicts need to learn is how to respond to stress. Frequently, it is stress that prompts a desire to drink or use drugs. It is often emotional, physical, financial, or psychological stress that causes us to turn to substances.
For instance, let’s say you recently experienced a death in your family. The pain of the loss might be too much to bear and you may turn to drinking as a way to escape the emotional pain. In other cases, perhaps you’re fearful about your financial situation and the inability to pay rent, buy food, or provide or your children. This situation can be a source of significant stress. Wanting to escape this psychological pain may be the reason to turn to drinking or drugs. But when you’re in recovery, turning to substances is no longer an option when faced with stress. Instead, you’ve got to have better, healthier ways to respond to stress.
One way to begin to respond to stress better is to get to know the sources of stress. Identify exactly what types of situations make you feel tense. You may also have to pinpoint the thoughts and feelings that create stress. You might have experiences that feel stressful, but you’re not quite sure why. You may need to think about that experience and identify the parts of that situation to help pinpoint the source of your stress.
Here are a list of questions to consider to help you identify your unique sources of stress:
What are you doing?
Where are you?
Who are you with?
What time of the day is it?
What are the circumstances?
How are you feeling emotionally?
What thoughts are you having?
What are you doing to cope with the stress – if anything?
How are you feeling physically?
In addition to identifying a specific situation and its circumstances to identify sources of stress, you may want to look for patterns of stress in your life. For instance, perhaps you get stressed whenever there’s a sudden change in plans. Perhaps the uncertainty of what you thought was going to happen is a source of anxiety. This and other patterns of stress might not be obvious at first. Yet, by focusing closely on the situations in your life, you may find unanticipated patterns.
Our stress patterns aren’t always obvious to us. But by journaling and documenting the details of a stressful moment, you can slowly become more and more aware of what makes you feel uncomfortable and what doesn’t.
Of course, once you know what triggers stress in you, you can then make changes accordingly. In some cases, you may be able to prevent the stress by modifying your behaviors, or even avoiding the situation, if necessary. In other cases, you may not be able to avoid the stress, but you can strengthen your response to stress with tools like deep breathing and other relaxation exercises.
