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From Sober Living To Living Sober

Posted on June 5, 2017June 6, 2017 by JohnAdmin

Sober living homes are environments specifically designed around creating an average living situation for those recovering from addiction, to prepare them for the challenges of living with the early consequences of recovery, and the struggle of maintaining long-term sobriety. However, instead of seminars, lifestyles built around residential treatment, or a focus on rehabilitation and hospitalization, sober living homes are designed as post-rehab centers created for those who want a transitory period between their rehabilitation and “real life.”

Of course, life is life – rehab is no less real than any other period in your life, but the struggles of dealing with the responsibilities of a fully-fledged life after a crippling addiction can be difficult. Sober living homes are usually for those who have struggled with addiction to the point that they’ve lost their jobs, lost their homes, and lost every anchor point to a previous life, aside from, perhaps, the support of their loved ones.

Through a sober living home, those recovering from addiction must dedicate themselves to a strict set of local rules, usually loosely adapted from a generalized rule set present in every sober living facility:

The Rules of Sober Living

Sober living homes take no measures to implicitly remove responsibility from you. Instead, they exist to place you in a community of other people who struggle with recovery, as both a source of motivation and long-term inspiration. Typically, they require you to:

Consistently pay rent and utilities.
Attend a form of treatment or group activity.
Actively look for work, or attend a school, or some other form of activity promoting self-improvement.
Accept regular and random drug testing, commonplace in the workforce.
Agree to refrain from parties and overnight guests.

Sober living entails active sobriety – that means no drugs or alcohol, although exceptions are made in certain cases due to the need for prescribed medication by some struggling with addiction.

All in all, sober living homes aren’t meant to be a permanent solution, but rather a transitory situation – a place to go after recovery to grow and improve, work through your emotional turmoil and the common difficulties of early recovery, and then move out on your own into the world with confidence in yourself, your abilities, your identity as a strong and willful individual, and your sobriety.

Some sober living homes are co-ed, most are not. This is to avoid any complications of sexual tension – recovery can be a period of emotional turmoil, and relationships aren’t a good idea in early recovery, unless they’re a steady and sure source of strength, accountability, and responsibility.

Additionally, some sober living homes are staffed with psychiatric professionals to provide in-house therapeutic treatment, and help in medical emergencies and other situations where a professional is needed.

Through these simple rules and structures, most sober living homes achieve a spectacular success rate. They’re often combined with a treatment program such as the twelve-step program to create a structured life for those struggling with early recovery, and the sense of community and responsibility can be enough to discourage relapse and create a sense of self-worth powerful enough to deny addiction.

What Does It Take to Be Successful?

There are no tricks, no distinct steps, and no strict pathways when walking the road of recovery. Every single person’s struggle is individual, and ultimately, everyone should work to find their own way to cope with addiction without resorting to the addiction’s unhealthy habits. Stress management through meditation, mindfulness, sports, art, writing, acting, work – the idea is simple: “whatever floats your boat.”

All you need to bring to the table is the will to improve. Even when faced with setbacks and relapse, all it takes is your dedication to getting back onto the horse and trying harder. When you enter a sober living home, you’re entering a community, and the rules of the community apply. Every community has its own rules, and abiding by them is critical if you want to be a part of that community.

Will is critical to the success of recovery in a way that is entirely separate to sober living homes, and that’s the fact that even with the help that a community can provide, addiction is something you must actively fight. You can’t be “carried” through your recovery – every step is one you must make on your own, and it’s your will that will drive you towards long-term sobriety, and not the will or strength of those around you.

In a way, addiction can be described as a learning disorder – one where you must overcome addiction by realizing its viciousness, and seeking out the long-term benefits of sobriety over the short-term pleasure and solace than addiction gives you. That is something you should do on your own – but it doesn’t mean you’re alone in the fight.

You Are Not Alone

The final key thing about sober living homes is that they ultimately exist to assist those who seek help in regaining control over their lives. It’s one thing to stand back up when life beats you down. It’s another to have the strength to call out for help, and fight back against your misfortunes with the help of others.

It’s when we find meaning in ourselves through how we can help others and become an important figure in the lives of those who matter most to us, that we finally overcome addiction. In a way, addiction feeds on our insecurities, and the misguided realization that we’re weak. However, if we can find passion within ourselves, and accountability towards others, a reason to be responsible and possess the will to do what must be done rather than what is easy, then we can deny our addiction at every step of the way, and lead on towards long-term recovery.

Sober living homes embody this philosophy perfectly by creating an environment where you are encouraged to be strong, to be independent, and yet to seek help whenever you need it. It encourages you not to be shy of opening to others, and helps you see the benefit in both asking for help, and helping those who ask for it. They blend both the individual journey, and the aspects of community that are necessary within recovery. And to many, they’re the best available approach for long-term sobriety.

When AA Isn’t For You

Posted on April 26, 2017April 27, 2017 by JohnAdmin

Recovery methods or tools that have been put into place to help keep you on a sober path are not a one size fits all type of deal. Everyone is different. What works for one, may not work for others. And, not liking your program will almost definitely hinder your success.

Many people find that Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is a saving grace when they are thrown out into the world as a newly sober being. Yet, others have dislikes of the program that they cannot look beyond, such as the references to a “higher power” or the idea of a 12-step program.

So, what do you do when you AA isn’t for you? There are many other good – and effective – support groups to choose from. The key is to find one that fits you and stick with it. Relax – you have options.

Women for Sobriety, Inc.

Since 1976, Women for Sobriety has been helping women achieve success in their recovery. Based on what they refer to as a “New Life” program, WFS focuses on positivity. It encourages women to use thirteen positive statements as a tool to grow emotionally and spiritually.

The primary focus of Women for Sobriety is achieving a new positive lifestyle. When you are in recovery and beginning your new sober life, you cannot live by the same rules you previously had. This program encourages women to adopt new positive habits and live a healthy, positive life.

Women for Sobriety is solely for females – sorry, guys!

SMART Recovery

Self-empowerment. That is the primary goal of the SMART Recovery program. This support group deals with many types of addictions ranging from substance abuse to gambling addictions. It is based on the principle that the power to change is within you. They have meetings online and face-to-face that provide you with the tools you need to be self-reliant in your recovery.

SMART Recovery has a 4-step program that helps its participants learn to curb urges, live a healthy, balanced life, and to also find the motivation to become self-empowered.

Secular Organizations for Sobriety (SOS)

Founded in 1985 by James Christopher, Secular Organizations for Sobriety (SOS) is a network of independent groups that work together to provide support for those entering the stage of sobriety. James Christopher is a sober alcoholic himself. He had initially attended AA meetings but was uncomfortable with the focus on a “higher power.” In searching for an alternative program, Christopher saw the need for secular organizations to support those in recovery.

SOS is a non-profit that has face to face and online meetings around the world. They believe that your own personal responsibility, with the support from SOS, is what will lead to success in staying sober throughout recovery. Because it is comprised of many different individual groups, there is no standard uniform guidelines found amongst the groups. Instead, there is a general focus given by SOS and it is up to each group to incorporate that focus.

LifeRing

LifeRing is a worldwide organization. Just as the name suggests, it links people as “life rings” around the world. When you feel vulnerable, you always have someone to reach out to. The focus is on peer-to-peer support. There are face to face meetings and a 24-hour online community available.

LifeRing believes in empowering individuals to oversee their own recovery – with the support of their peers. Only you can change your behavior and teach yourself to be successfully sober. LifeRing gives you the tools, you do the work.

Recovery International

Recovery International has been in place for over 75 years. It was founded by Dr. Abraham A. Low, a neuropsychiatrist who has used cognitive behavioral training to help lead individuals through a healthy recovery. This program helps change the way participants think – replacing negative thoughts and emotions with healthier ones. The idea is that thoughts and responses are within our control and by learning to stop the negativity as it crosses our mind, we can change our body’s response.

In keeping with the other alternative programs, Recovery International also believes in self-reliance and self-help, although it does incorporate the mental health factor.

Programs to Avoid

While there are many programs out there to help you through your sobriety, there are others that may try to convince you that you don’t have to be completely sober to live a good life. They may teach you that drinks are okay – if you drink in moderation. After all, moderation is key, right? Wrong! Sobriety is an all or nothing.

Here are a few other things to avoid when looking for an alternative support group:

Negative behaviors. It is important for you to remain positive during this time, so avoid those who will flush your good mood down the toilet.
You need support, but you also need to learn to be a more powerful version of yourself. Avoid groups that breed dependency rather than strength and independence.
Unavailability of support. You are strong, but you cannot go through recovery alone. And rough patches and urges do not just happen between 9am and 5pm. You will need available support 24-hours a day.

Find Your Best Option

There are many options for support. Some rely on a “higher power,” some are secular. Some are designed specifically for women, others focus on mental health. However, the common theme among all the programs is that you are ultimately in charge of your recovery. Support groups work to empower you and provide you with tools and means of accountability to crush any anti-sober desire that may surface.

Maybe you find that AA will work perfectly for you. Or maybe you still are searching for the one that meets your needs. Whatever you do, do not try to go it alone. You will need some sort of support. There are many alternatives out there – take the time to do your research and then dive in head first. It is about your sobriety and successful recovery – do not take it lightly.

A Clean, Sober, Supportive Place To Live

Posted on April 21, 2017April 20, 2017 by JohnAdmin

If you’ve been to rehab, you know that it’s a protected environment. You’ve likely had limited contact with your loved ones, and you have been able to work through ways that you can handle tough situations that won’t lead to a relapse. Now that you’re home again, it’s time to put all of the lessons you’ve learned into action. This can, of course, be more difficult than you might have originally thought. Here are some tips on rejoining your loved ones and getting back into the swing of life after being in rehab.

Consider Whether the Environment Is Right for You

In an ideal world, all people leaving a rehabilitation center would return to loving homes in safe places where they were not exposed to the triggers that caused them to seek comfort in drugs or alcohol. In reality, however, this is not always the case. If you are concerned that returning home will make it difficult for you to avoid a relapse, then it might be worth looking for a different place to live once you get out of rehab.

While you are still in rehab, you can begin asking healthy family members or close friends who live in a different location if you can stay with them while you look for a new place to go. You could also consider whether going into transitional housing would be more beneficial for you than returning home to a less-than-supportive situation or a neighborhood where you will likely be tempted to turn to substances. This is something to discuss with your addiction counselor.

Include Your Loved Ones in Your Routines

You have learned in rehab that having good routines can help you avoid temptation and stay on the straight and narrow path during your recovery process. When you return home, it can be very helpful to include some friends and family members in your daily routines. It will help you keep from becoming isolated, which, in turn, can help you avoid a relapse.

Exercising is often an important part of healthy life after recovery. It will reduce stress, keep you occupied, and improve your physical health. Having a family member or friend join you on workouts or in training for running a 5K race can give you the support you need to meet your goals. You could also ask if you can join family members in their weekly faith observances, if this is now a part of your life. Or come up with other activities that will engage you and your loved ones, such as renovating your home, volunteering, or something else that you can do on a daily or weekly basis.

Allow Your Family & Friends to Support You

Don’t be afraid to ask for help during your recovery process and beyond. If you need rides to support group or counseling sessions, just ask. If you are having a hard time balancing the things you need to do, maybe some friends or family members would not mind helping you on the weekends, bringing you dinner occasionally, or otherwise supporting you as you get back into your normal routines. If you are feeling lonely, don’t be afraid to call up a relative or close friend and suggest getting coffee or just chatting on the phone. Remember that your friends and family members want you to succeed and remain sober, and most of them will be happy to help. They might not know what to do, so it will be up to you to advocate for yourself.

Don’t Be Afraid to Set Limits

While it’s likely that your family and close friends will want to help you, there may come a time when you’d rather try to do things on your own. You also might want to spend time with friends that you made in rehab. And of course, you will want to spend some time alone, reflecting, journaling, and just enjoying life.

You may find it hard to tell your loved ones that you need some space, and it might be difficult for them to give you that space. Try to be understanding of their concern, but also let them know what you need. You might want to reassure them that when you want to be alone, you’re not resorting to unhealthy behaviors. If you are having trouble getting through to them, you might need to place firm limits. Try to do so in a way that won’t alienate your loved ones; they want what is best for you, and this transition is difficult for them, too.

Educate Your Loved Ones on Relapse Warning Signs

One way that your loved ones can support you is by knowing about the symptoms of a relapse and what they can do to help you if you do end up relapsing. Remember that about half of all people who go through rehab do relapse at least once. There is no shame if this happens to you; it’s common and it’s something that you will be able to overcome. But having family members or close friends who are aware of the signs and able to take action can help you get past your relapse sooner rather than later.

Some things that can lead up to a relapse include having too many responsibilities to the point that you’re extremely overwhelmed, symptoms of depression, and having thoughts that a relapse can’t happen to you. If you notice any of these cropping up, it is good to confide in someone. Talk to your loved ones about what they can do to help you if they suspect a relapse. This is a good conversation to have once you are out of rehab, before a relapse has the chance to occur.

Getting through the rehabilitation part of recovery is a big hurdle, but learning to live your regular life can, in some ways, be even more difficult. Include your family and friends so they can provide good support to you as you walk this road. While recovery can be a lifelong process, the hardest days in the beginning can be made easier by having supportive loved ones who you integrate back into your life.

For Sobriety, Lifestyle Matters More Than You Think

Posted on April 14, 2017April 11, 2017 by JohnAdmin

The ultimate goal for any addict, regardless of what kind of substance they used to abuse, is permanent sobriety. It’s to be able to look back, never forget what happened and yet still enjoy life with a cleared conscience, a crisp mind and a circle of friends and family.

Achieving that state of sobriety is what drug addiction treatment is for. From detox and rehab to group therapy, medication and self-disciplined recovery guides, there are countless ways to combat addiction depending on what you’re addicted to, what stage of recovery you’re in, and how well you’re reacting to a given treatment option.

One factor that gets overlooked when discussing recovery is the sheer power of proper lifestyle changes. Through some much-needed tweaks to the way you live, you can entirely supplant the craving for drugs with different mental stimuli, and rewire your brain to forget the drugs, and instead rely on other stimuli.

You’ll never quite forget what it was like to be high, and you’ll never quite forget the darker days. But you can teach your brain to return to the way it was before the addiction kicked in, and you can live a sober life free from relapses. And here’s why lifestyle changes are so integral for that.

Good Habits Can Replace Drug Use

It’s really as simple as that – drug use often (not always) abuses brain plasticity and makes significant physical changes in the way your brain works while you’re on drugs. At first, the drug is a voluntary choice. With time, addiction can feel like a trap.

Getting out of it requires you to not only be motivated enough to renounce your addiction, but also replace drug use with something else. Drug use is often a maladaptive behavior – it can be a coping mechanism for stress, trauma, abuse, or peer pressure.

The tough but highly rewarding challenge is to replace it with a set of adaptive coping mechanisms, including good sleep, better food, and exercise, going out with friends who care about you and meeting new people, and becoming part of a family, community or company that includes you and gives you a sense of purpose.

While maladaptive coping behaviors are always rewarding in the short-term – like drug use – they only cause more issues in the long-term. Adaptive behaviors on the other hand require a bit more of an investment to get into in the short-term, but keeping them up over the course of months and years produces changes both physically and mentally that help you deal with your emotional issues, see things rationally, and achieve an objectively healthier form of happiness.

Healthy Eating Can Help Your Mind

Research shows that food has a relationship with mental illness. Eating the right foods can help you combat depression, anxiety, and even addiction. Of course, the food alone won’t do it – a quality diet is great, but it isn’t a panacea. Understanding the impact of something as simple as a diet change on physical health, emotional health and your self-esteem, however, is a great primer on why lifestyle changes should be pursued.

And the benefits don’t stop after long-term sobriety. You continue to benefit from a good diet through longevity, better physical condition, and of course, potentially lower healthcare costs.

Exercise Is a Perfect Recovery Tool

Addiction is powerful because it hijacks the part of the brain dedicated to regulating pleasure. Exercise can help you restore that part back to normal. It’s been common knowledge for a while now that physical health and mental health heavily correlate, and that one can help prevent issues with the other.

Many people, however, lack the motivation or conviction to follow through with regular exercise. Struggling with drug addiction can give you the motivation to kick your addiction to the curb and hit the gym instead.

Fitness as the Key

However, if you have the aptitude for it, then you can turn exercise into a goal – a new healthy obsession. Note, that the term obsession here doesn’t refer to an actual obsession. There’s a thin line between obsession and passion, and having a healthy passion for fitness (one that won’t cost your health) can be a good way to keep sober, and it’s not just for the fact that exercise is conducive to better mental health.

Having a goal, such as a competition, weight goal, or sports benchmark, gives you something important to strive for while helping you improve yourself, transform yourself, and steal away the power that addiction used to have over you.

Seeking Out a Goal

If you’re not the type to get serious or competitive about physical exercise and fitness – be it training for a specific sport, training for martial arts, training for weightlifting, Crossfit tournaments, or just training for the sake of bodybuilding – then you can adopt a different goal as part of your recovery process.

If you discover a new love for video games, hiking, or Victorian literature, then get serious about it. Turn your hobby into a hobby you can profit from, emotionally and perhaps even financially. Write and talk about what you love. Go to conventions and meet new people. Get into any form of competition if that’s what you’re about.

Once you discover something you can be a fully-fledged enthusiast about and dedicate yourself to it, you create something that a.) will benefit you in the long-term, and b.) give you more reason to remain sober. You make yourself accountable. Why give up what you’ve worked hard to learn and achieve for another hit? Why let go of your newfound long-term happiness and true joy for something as artificial as a drug high?

Changing the way you live and embracing an aspect of life you can be truly passionate about is one of the best ways to apply everything you learned in your first few days of sober living. It’s fulfilling, rewarding, and best of all, you’re doing it for yourself. Working on yourself is a great way to differentiate who you are from what you once were – by undergoing a personal transformation, you can come to closure and officially separate yourself from the past.

It won’t be easy – dedication never is. But it’ll be worth every minute spent and every ounce of sweat lost.

Gratitude In Recovery

Posted on April 10, 2017April 11, 2017 by JohnAdmin

Quite a lot of people out there are going to read the title and roll their eyes, or sigh with frustration, or wonder why they have to put up with “feel-good” nonsense when all they want to do is find a concrete way to tackle their addiction.

It’s not hard to see that after the twentieth time of hearing about the power of emotions and the need for friendship and support in the world of recovery, things start to get a little tiresome. Overcoming an addiction isn’t very pleasant – so where does gratitude come into play? What role does that have in a task marked by its harshness and overall difficulty? Why should a recovering addict – why should you – be grateful?

Gratitude is a very powerful thing in recovery, because of the system of emotions it carries with itself.

What Comes with Gratitude?

With gratitude comes humility, and a security that you’re on the right track and are doing better. Gratitude supplants and eliminates guilt – to be grateful, truly, you have to take away any and all room that guilt could occupy.

Gratitude is also an emotional meditation – it’s reflective. It allows you to look back at what you’ve achieved, what others have done for you, and what you’ve all done together – and most profoundly, what you’ve actually managed to do for others if you’ve done any group therapy or volunteer work. Through this sort of calm introspection, you begin to solidify your path towards recovery and take the wind out from underneath the cycle of negativity and shame that fuels addiction for so many.

Being grateful is a sign of progress – a powerful sign at that. Not only is being grateful an emotion that means you’re coming to terms with what has happened and are actually happy about the steps you’ve taken to prevent relapse, get clean and stay clean – gratitude also means you’re no longer blaming yourself or anyone else for your addiction.

Gratitude vs. Denial

One of the many pitfalls of addiction is the lies we tell others and each other to keep on using. Some people blame all their woes on their own incompetence and inability to act or do or say anything constructive, and they wallow in a pitiful self-image. Others turn it the other way around, blaming the cruel world and its sinister machinations and conspiracies for their own failures and issues. Neither is a “good approach”, or even one that works in any capacity – all it fosters is anger, disillusionment, and depression. Why? Because these delusions are just that – lies, and falsehoods. You can’t build a solid view of reality around those things.

To be honestly grateful means to first be honest and to accept. Gratitude is in part something that becomes a natural stepping stone on the path to recovery, but it’s also a goal – one that has to be worked for and worked towards.

Gratitude Is Not Easy

You cannot begin therapy and look upon all this “feel-good stuff” and assume that you’ll eventually get it one day, or that it doesn’t apply to you. Put aside your distaste for clichés and self-help advice, and try to swallow the fundamental message here: gratitude is a choice. You can choose to be grateful for what you have and where you are, for being alive and for the people who have helped you get started on your program, or grateful for yourself and your capacity to look past the denial and get help – or you can choose to be petulant, angry, pessimistic and skeptical of every offer of help and every comment towards your improvements.

Most people will start their journey out with a lot of lashing out, negativity and self-doubt. Once you let the gratitude seep in, however, it’s a clear sign of an emotional reversal deep, deep within. A good sign.

Turning Negativity Around

Life is not all roses and rainbows. It’s not a joyride filled with nothing but fun and laughter. The least bit of life is actual happiness – the rest of it is spent without happiness, in various states of emotion. And in cases of addiction, life is often filled with regrets, wasted opportunities, anger, doubt, depression and a slew of other negative emotions.

These have their place in life. They’re not to be shunned, ignored, or somehow wished away – and no one should tell you that they’re worthless, or evil. They’re just that – emotions. They have no stakes, no skin in the game, no hidden agenda. Life isn’t about being happy all the time – you should feel as you damn please to feel, even when that means expressing a lot of anger or frustration or sorrow.

But every time you delve into negativity, it’s an opportunity to learn from that emotion or let it trap you in a cycle of continued oppression. Addiction can be broken out of – and with time, you can look back on your worst days and most horrible moments as formative points in your life, points where you learned to either take in one of life’s countless lessons, or points of weakness from which you’ve managed to bounce back so fiercely that they’ve made you unbelievably strong.

Gratitude allows you to look back upon all of your life’s negativity and see it in a positive light. Not by ignoring it, or casting it into the mysterious shadows of your past, but by examining those moments and gleaming from them what little silver lining you can find.

Find Your Own Gratitude

Gratitude can be extremely challenging. It’s like being faced with depression and tasked with repeating the words “I love myself” in front of a mirror. It sounds sappy, useless, a waste of anyone’s time. Meaningless. Illegitimate. But then you say the words, and you say them again and again, and at some point, they break through to you – whether through tears of sadness or tears of joy – and eventually you come to believe them.

Gratitude is much the same way, it’s something you have to choose to feel in your recovery journey. Ask yourself every day – not just on Thanksgiving – what you’re grateful for, and be honest with yourself. Some days you might not come up with very much or even nothing at all, and at other times you may realize you’re grateful for far more than you would’ve imagined. And in that, you choose to put on a positive attitude, and face the day with a brighter outlook, than spend another minute trapped by the negativity surrounding addiction and substance abuse.

Sober Living Can Help Bridge The Accountability Gap

Posted on March 4, 2017March 4, 2017 by JohnAdmin

There are many ways to regard the battle between you and your addiction – countless analogies, comparisons and simplifications. They all revolve around the same thing – the loss of control, and how recovering from an addiction is about regaining that ability to decide what you want to do and where you want to go, without addiction chaining you down.

That alone makes it blatantly clear how addiction is, in many ways, a mental illness or chronic disease more than anything else. Like anxiety, depression, trauma, and phobias, it’s a condition that you entraps you and limits your ability to act, think and even feel. And mental illness and addiction are very often linked through comorbidity.

However, mental illness is rarely something you excise, or treat entirely with medication. The only way to completely combat a mental illness is to learn to live in spite of it.

Addiction is much the same way. You can reduce its symptoms, combat the allure, and learn to embrace lifelong sobriety. But in a way, it’ll always be there – the ability for you to relapse exists so long as there’s the tiniest will to do so. The key isn’t cutting that part of yourself out, or even forgetting about it. The key is living with it, and living in spite of it. Live in spite of your illness – live in spite of your addiction. Embrace a life free of the shackles of your drug of choice. How?

Through accountability, and responsibility. By being beholden to your purpose and your roles in life as a member of a family and society in general, you have much more to lose – and much more to live for.

What Makes Sober Living So Challenging?

Being sober is hard because it’s not special. It’s not exciting. You can make it out to be, but it’s better to be honest about these things. People chase the high for what it is – a high. At some point, it changes you – your brain adopts a new kind of internal circuitry, it almost rewires itself to make you chase that high, even when you’re beginning to realize that it’s destroying what you love and have worked so hard for.

Addiction seeps in, corrupts, and leaves you regretting what you’ve done. It’s a high that creates a low that begs another high – a vicious cycle.

Besides the addiction itself, modern society’s continued stigma means most addicts find themselves deeply ashamed of their behavior – yet still locked into it, unable to break out for the longest time. A lot of people have the capacity to, with enough to lose, find permanent sobriety.

But when your life is a mess in the first place, the motivation to better yourself goes out the window alongside your chances at a stable relationship, or a real career. And the end result? A cycle of addiction, depression, self-hatred, apathy and eventually, total cynicism and hopelessness.

Accountability is the way out. It’s not an easy answer, or a feasible one for many – but it’s the best one for continued, long-term sober living that lasts a lifetime.

Let’s look at it from another perspective – the one of general human psychology, rather than an individual’s motivations. As social creatures, a lot of what we do as humans isn’t just to benefit ourselves – it’s to help protect those we feel responsible for, and connected to. Our fellow family members, our parents and offspring, our pets and best friends. There’s a tight-knit group of people that we depend on, and that depend on us – and between two people, love breeds the need to depend on one another and protect each other for better offspring survival rates. And this interdependence and unconditional love toward one another evolved from the need to form a group for survival’s sake.

It’s part of our DNA, the need to be important to someone, and have others that are important to us too. Despite the migration towards more individualism, it’s hardwired in us to be responsible and accountable towards other individual beings, without asking anything in return.

To utilize that power – that evolutionary hardcoding – for the sake of recovery, is a bit like trying to override the changes made in your brain by substance abuse with an even older and more ancestral instinct.

Accountability in All Stages

To really understand how useful the power of accountability can be when reinforcing sober living, you have to go back a little further – and see just how pervasive and versatile accountability can be as an argument for continued sobriety.

As early on as the origin of your addiction, a lack of accountability and connection towards others can be seen as one of the driving factors of addiction. By being excluded from a healthy family, or by being underappreciated, you can foster the emotions and resentment that often leads to the sort of self-destructive behavior addiction is rooted in.

How Accountability Will Change Your Life

Accountability will help you grow your network of friends and loved ones, build a much stronger self-esteem and remove insecurity by giving you the sense that you matter. Even in cases of peer pressure, the desperate need to fit in with a crowd can further feed addiction, whilst an accountability towards others can help give you a strong argument for why you most definitely shouldn’t try something at a party.

As you move onward into rehab and recovery, accountability again plays a role in treatment. Healthy sober living environments, which are an example of post-rehab recovery options, often promote chores and group activity as a means to foster accountability and create an environment where individual recovering patients bond together to help each other, motivate each other, inspire each other, and even volunteer to help new people beat their addiction.

Sources of Accountability in Recovery

There are, thankfully, many ways to foster and grow accountability in a sober living environment, and many of these ways carry over into the long term, living outside of a recovery or rehab setting. Here are a few examples:

Regular drug tests.
Meeting sober living requirements.
Getting a job.
Replacing bad habits with healthy choices.
Becoming an integral part of a family or group of friends.
Group meetings.
Partnered activities.
Sober companionship.
Volunteering in recovery efforts.
Tutoring and teaching sobriety.

It’s Your Journey (and Your Recovery)

It’s important to be beholden to others – but remember to be beholden to yourself, as well. You are the one person you can always unconditionally love. Don’t just do things for the good of others – while being selfless is a virtue, you have to be capable of a little self-love, as well, and a lot of self-care. Especially if you want to be able to maintain sobriety for the rest of your life. Helping others is a great motivation for keeping sober, but remember what sobriety and healthy living does for you – and use that as motivation to keep going, as well.

With a healthy balance of personal and group accountability, you can maintain sobriety for the rest of your life – and pick it back up after a relapse, as well.

The Right Recovery Community Can Help You Heal

Posted on February 10, 2017February 10, 2017 by JohnAdmin

Do you have a recovery community on your side? If not, you may be missing out on one of the very best elements that sober living has to offer. The recovery “community” is vast and can be broken down into an endless number of groups and organizations. From Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) to private support groups and residential treatment centers, recovering addicts all across America are helping each other to face their fears and heal from the past.

But jumping head-first into one facet of the community isn’t always wise; it’s important to take your time and find the community that suits you best. Not every group or meeting will be right for every person, as the recovery from addiction is not a one-size-fits-all process or journey, and that’s okay!

Once you find your group, the benefits of association are extensive. Forging new relationships with people who understand your story is a priceless gift that you simply can’t buy with money alone. But that’s not where the healing ends; there’s much more to the story. Let’s take a look at how the right community can help you heal.

Sharing Your Vision

Your ideal recovery community should share your vision of what recovery looks like. For some, that could mean total abstinence, while for others, it may include harm reduction strategies like methadone replacement therapy or SMART Recovery strategies instead. There’s no one approach that’s right for every person, so it’s okay to spend some time talking with your care team about what might work best for you.

When you belong to a community that shares your overall vision for recovery, you instantly become connected to people who strive to achieve the same lifestyle and recovery goals as you. That not only makes you feel more supported but can also have a positive effect on everything from accountability to attendance at meetings.

On the other hand, choosing the wrong recovery community can be a bit of a disaster if the others within it don’t share your vision. For example, someone who is particularly prone to relapses may find SMART Recovery communities triggering simply because the approach makes allowances for harm reduction instead of abject abstinence. In contrast, someone who finds the AA program too restrictive to their current situation may stop attending simply because of the pressure.

Healing often requires going back to the nitty gritty basics, so starting from wherever you are is best. Choose your recovery community based on where you are right now, and always recognize that your needs may change down the road.

Remember: Good recovery communities stay true to the recovery path at all times, no matter what the activity or meeting topic. Safety comes first!

Staying True to the Cause

The best recovery groups are focused on the cause at all times – recovery. While the community may meet for socialization, volunteer together, or even just spend time hanging out together outside of meetings, the overall focus needs to remain the same throughout.

Communities that schedule events at drinking establishments or host parties where substances are readily available should raise red flags, regardless of whether you happen to be an alcoholic or not.

Likewise, communities that continually allow members to attend meetings intoxicated, or allow otherwise disruptive behaviors freely, are often more focused on the drama that happens within them than the cause in the first place.

Good communities have strong, experienced leaders (be it a therapist or just your peers) with the ability to set guidelines, rules, or goals as needed to keep the group in check. When problems arise, they’ll handle issues privately or within the group only after getting permission. They’ll check in with the group and verify everyone’s recovery goals, too, and show a willingness to adjust when adjustments are necessary.

It’s also important to recognize that the “right community” should contain leaders sourced from within the community itself. People who have directly experienced addiction or recovery personally have much to share, and learning from their triumphs and mistakes can help you achieve or avoid your own goals and problems, too.

Remember: a recovery community takes its strength from its members, and leaders who come from the group are a sign of its longevity and strength.

Supporting Accountability

We’ve talked about the importance of accountability in recovery before; being honest and truthful about where you are is really the only way to move forward, even if reality isn’t particularly appealing to look at right now. You have to start from where you are, no matter how low your rock-bottom is. After all, if you don’t judge how deep the hole is, you can’t possibly know whether to jump out, use the ladder, or ask your support network to extend you a rope.

Unfortunately, within the realm of recovery communities, this can lead to uniquely challenging and difficult situations.

Here’s an example: When your meeting group smells alcohol on your breath but you claim you haven’t been drinking (even though you know very well you have), and they don’t call you on it, they aren’t requiring you to be accountable for your actions. That’s a problem simply because it allows you to continue with your destructive behaviors unchecked.

But demanding accountability, especially in early recovery or relapse, can sometimes be perceived as a slight. You’re sensitive, already aware of your failings, and they want you to admit it, too? Ouch.

Despite the fact that it can seem like your recovery group or community is pushing you too hard to be honest, both with them and yourself, their request for accountability really is in your best interest. They’re not trying to hurt you; they’re trying to keep you on track and to give you the insight needed to get back on the track altogether when you’ve lost your way.

Your community depends on you just as much as you depend on them, and they deserve honesty about how you’re doing. Good group leaders know that just the requirement of accountability itself can help prevent future relapses and slips.

There’s one small thing to keep in mind with regard to groups that demand accountability; don’t confuse it with aggression. The very best communities will temper the request with patience, understanding, and support, not with verbal aggression, anger, or complete and permanent ousting.

Remember: If you are attacked, insulted, ostracized, or disrespected, walk away. It’s not okay for anyone to abuse you, be it verbal or physical in nature.

Encouraging Holistic Healing

The recovery community might be focused on recovery as its first and primary vision, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that recovery should be the only focus or topic tabled for discussion.

Good recovery communities go the distance and are frequently less of just a group and more of an overall virtual village. They encourage healing from a holistic perspective and support you in achieving a healthier overall lifestyle, teaching you how to have fun and live life free of substances and dangerous behaviors. As recovery is a lifelong process, this is important.

Look for communities that encourage a broad range of activities and support methods first. Lots of options mean plenty of opportunities to get involved, keeping you engaged, interested, and committed without growing bored.

Regular holistic health activities could include weekly walks, events at safe and sober locations, movie nights, hobby groups, yoga classes, or even something as simple as social hours where recovering addicts can interact and have fun in a safe space. Or it could be as complex as a leader who creates referrals for you to ensure that you’re seen by a doctor, therapist, or medical care team instead.

As you interact, you’ll recover from addiction and potentially heal other areas of your life at the same time, growing happier and more at peace.

Remember: Find a recovery community that supports you holistically to increase your chances of success. Whether it’s a sober living facility or meeting group, addressing your overall health is important!

Connecting with the right recovery community or group isn’t always easy, but the research shows that it’s research shows that it’s more than worth it. That’s why many patients decide to start with inpatient treatment or sober living facilities first. Having that safe, guided experience during the first few days and weeks of detox and recovery can be invaluable, especially if you’ve struggled or failed with other outside resources in the past. Finding the right recovery community, be it inpatient or out, isn’t just a temporary fix; it’s a stepping stone to getting the right support, healing your traumas, and forging lifelong friendships, too.

5 Adrenaline-Boosting Activities To Fuel Your Sobriety

Posted on January 30, 2017January 30, 2017 by JohnAdmin

Recovery isn’t always a piece of cake. Okay, that’s probably the understatement of the century. In the first 12 months after dedicating yourself to sober living, finding ways to have fun can become a separate challenge in its own right. Boredom (the recovering addict’s biggest nemesis) can strike and increase our risk of relapse. Your energy levels may reach an all-time low as your brain’s chemistry resets and adapts to this new normal.

For people who relied on substances to motivate or energize them through the day, even just getting through work or daily tasks can seem daunting. The concept of having “fun” without your drug or behavior of choice might seem as foreign as learning to use chopsticks for the first time, but it is possible!

If you’ve been feeling bleak, restless, and bored with your new sober living lifestyle, it may be time to dial up the notch a bit. Finding new ways to boost adrenaline and endorphins in a way that’s healthy and safe is not only possible but also highly recommended. These adrenaline-boosting activities will have your heart pumping and your excitement level skyrocketing, all without the need for drugs.

Better still, they’ll provide you with valuable insight about your personality along the way.

Running

A great many recovering addicts take up jogging or running after detox, and with good reason: it boosts adrenaline and improves overall health when undertaken correctly. Fitness Magazine states that just five to 10 minutes per day can significantly decrease your risk of cardiovascular events like heart attacks and stroke, improve joint strength, and even provide you with much-needed meditative alone time. If that’s not enough to convince you, some studies show a distinct link between running, faster physical recovery, and fewer drug cravings over time.

There’s also the “runner’s high” many people experience when they run; this feeling is tied to happiness-boosting brain chemicals, and may help to reduce stress and depression. The term “run it off” is very commonly heard in addictions therapy groups simply because running can let you “burn off” negative emotions like anger, sadness, or despair.

Psychologically, running teaches us to set reasonable goals, how to judge our own capabilities, and how to be confident in our physical and emotional strength, too.

So how can you make running a part of your everyday life? First, understand that it’s not as easy as slapping on the trainers and running for 30 minutes. That’s too much and too fast. First, see your doctor and have a full physical. If he or she approves, start with a 5-minute walk or jog one to two times per day. Then, slowly work towards 30 to 60 total minutes per day.

High-Impact Cardio & Aerobics

Craving company and feeling a bit restless, bored, and lonely? High-impact cardio or aerobics may be just the ticket to kick you out of that funk. Fast-paced routines like spinning, Tae Bo, and aerobic dance get you moving to the tune of fun, energizing music, picking up your heart rate and boosting adrenaline while improving overall health.

Which formats are best? The answer isn’t simple; it can differ from person to person. If you’re new to exercise in general, try starting with water aerobics for low-impact, high-energy fun. If you’re in fairly good physical shape, you have more options. The average, otherwise healthy individual should be fine to take up a basic 20-minute aerobic, spinning, or Pilates routine quite easily.

High-impact cardio is an experience best had in the comfort of others, so hit up your local gym or studio and join a group whenever possible. Excitement is contagious, and you’ll get an adrenaline boost simply from being around others who are having good, clean fun.

Rock or Mountain Climbing

Climbing the walls with boredom in recovery? Put two feet on solid ground again and save your climbing for the real deal – rock climbing. This timeless, ancient sport has been around for centuries, and it often seems that humans just have an innate nature to climb on top of the world around them. As children, we climb rocks, trees, and occasionally, objects we shouldn’t in the living room, much to our parent’s chagrin. I was often labeled a mountain goat for the same reason in childhood; if it was there, I was going to climb on top of it and feel like I owned the world.

There’s just something intrinsically thrilling about climbing. It gets your heart pumping, forces you to think on your feet, and requires you to sharpen your focus and take in the environment around you. Physically, it improves muscle strength and coordination, and may even reduce the risk of cardiovascular events.

Mentally/emotionally, it teaches you how to set and achieve reasonable goals, how to persevere, and how to be confident in your ability to make decisions, even when under pressure. It isn’t difficult to outline exactly how each of those could benefit someone in recovery.

Before you run out and start scaling the nearest cliff, understand that safety is important. Find a local club or organization and have someone teach you how to climb safely and properly. Never, ever climb alone or without equipment – doing so is dangerous and becomes less about enjoying healthy, safe adrenaline-boosting activities and more about putting yourself at risk.

Scuba Diving

Live near the ocean or maybe a lake? If so, you’re in luck. You’re one of the very fortunate few who probably have access to scuba diving – an activity that gives you a first-hand glimpse into an entire world most of us will never see. Scuba diving isn’t particularly taxing (though better cardiovascular health is possible from proper breath management and swimming), so it’s not the exercise itself that boosts adrenaline here; it’s the wonder of the underwater world.

Discovering fish, coral, plants, and shells up close and first hand induces a feeling that’s seldom found in other activities. You become the Jacques Cousteau of the recovery world, boldly going where no man (well, okay, few men, anyway) have ever gone before. That feeling of childlike wonder and amazement is hard to find in recovery, especially if you relied upon substances for excitement.

If you can afford to do so, breaking free of your everyday experience and heading to Costa Rica or the Pacific Islands will afford you one of the most sensational experiences you’ll ever have. But even just exploring the closest underwater environment? That’s pretty amazing, too.

Skiing, Snowboarding & Tobogganing

Last, but certainly not least, is downhill skiing, snowboarding, and tobogganing. All three of these winter sports let you indulge your inner child and fly down the hill super-fast. Get going good enough, or learn to take ramps and jumps, and you may even find that it feels like you’re flying. It’s the sheer speed and joy experienced that’s the ticket to happiness in these three iconic winter sports, so the next time the snow hits, snuggle up in a snowsuit and head out into the frigid cold for some fun.

If you have a local ski hill nearby, take a beginner’s skiing or snowboarding class to help you learn the basics. Most hills will rent you both boots and equipment for the duration of your stay. Set yourself basic, reasonable goals and continue to practice patiently. Even though you start out on the bunny hill, you will eventually make it to the black diamond runs. Good things come with time and proper safety precautions, and you’ll find your confidence growing right along with your skill.

Don’t have a local ski hill? Take a drive around and find a good hill that doesn’t end in a roadway. Break out the equipment and make use of nature’s natural ski hills all around you. Wondering what to do if you don’t get snow? Just switch things up and get out on the water for a bit of wakeboarding or water skiing instead.

It’s easy to get into a rut in recovery. Attend meetings. Go to therapy. Eat. Shower. Rinse, lather repeat. All of these are crucial to your success, but so is having a bit of fun and excitement now and again. Remember, whatever adrenaline-boosting activity you choose, it’s important that you move forward safely and with guidance. It’s not about just jumping into the path of danger without any consideration for your health. It’s about is honing your ability to take positive risks as you develop new and healthy hobbies.

Environmental Factors Of Sober Living

Posted on November 8, 2016December 1, 2016 by JohnAdmin

What Is Sober Living?

Sober living residential centers are homes where recovering addicts may live once they complete their primary treatment program. Sober living facilities can be houses, condos, or apartments and may provide gender specific housing as an option. Sober living creates a supportive and orderly environment for recovery.

Sober living has requirements for residents because the transition to clean and sober living requires maintenance. Drug testing, meetings, adherence to curfews, and sobriety for the duration of stay are mandatory for sober living houses. Depending on the residence, there may be additional rules for meal times, visiting guests, and activity participation.

Through accountability, attendance, and participation, residents will find support and purpose during their recovery process.

Why Sober Living Is Necessary for Recovery?

A controlled, peaceful, and productive living environment may assist in the difficult process of addiction recovery. Required drug testing, group meetings, and sobriety are rules that help keep residents focused towards succeeding in their recovery.

When a person leaves primary treatment, they should not reenter the same world that their addiction was born in. Prior to sober living, environmental factors and psychological stress may have contributed to addiction. This is why sober living is necessary because it provides a safe haven where a focus on recovery is placed above everything else, every day.

Sober living also encourages holistic methods of healing like gym sessions, hiking, yoga, mindfulness, and meditation. Sober living encourages these activities as an alternative to drinking or drug usage. A recovering abuser might not have been able to turn to these methods previously.

Through the recovery work of 12-step meetings, individual therapy, or other support meetings (like alcoholics anonymous), recovering abusers will begin to recognize triggers that spark cravings to start using again. The most important step is to create an action plan to handle addiction triggers with healthy and safe methods. A plan of action can help minimize the pain behind the trigger.

Discovering and writing down feelings behind trigger warnings, talking to a sponsor, or attending a meeting are all positive alternatives that sober living promotes. Triggers can occur externally (people, places, or situations) or internally (feelings, memories of drug use).

Unconscious stress and anxiety can make a person more vulnerable to succumbing to drug and alcohol use. Internal triggers need to be examined, discussed, and worked through with a therapist, counselor, sponsor, or peer. When feelings remain buried and discarded, people may use substances to keep them suppressed. Sober living supports the recovering party by providing structure, support, and rules designed to protect

Daily Life

Usually, residents are required to participate in scheduled activities like meetings, therapy, or household gatherings during specific times. Support systems found within sober living facilities like on-site therapy, group forums, and peer support create a nurturing community for those recovering.

Creating a social network of fellow recovering peers is essential. Sober living provides this in its daily life. Shared housing, communal tasks, and recreational activities promote a culture of honesty, connection, and understanding. Recovering drug and alcohol abusers learn to be vulnerable, open up about their struggles, ask questions, and find answers.

Studies from the National Center of Biotechnology Information have data that exemplifies that returning to an unstable living environment after treatment can impede even the most determined individual’s healing and recovery. The increase of recovery residential centers across the nation is in response to this statistic. A safe, controlled, and organized environment results in success for those trying to break free from addiction for good.

Environmental Factors for Sober Living

Prior to treatment, addicts may have to hide their actions and addiction from people in their lives. Sober living is an environment that is the exact opposite, where voicing doubts, fears, and challenges is actively supported. People who live in sober living homes are usually peers at similar stages in their recovery and will find common ground.

Sober living does not provide primary treatment; it is a place where people focus on the step of recovery through structured schedules, therapy, daily meetings, and shared support. It is monitored and productive living in its best form.

The environment of a sober living facility is usually calm, quiet, and nature-centered, with a concentration on openness and leadership. It is a drug and alcohol free living space, which requires abstinence for the entirety of a person’s stay. Different meetings like a 12-step program, individual therapy, or AA meetings are usually required (based on the individual’s case).

Depending on necessity of other specifics of their situation, residences may allow occupants to leave to attend work or other outside activities. But residents in sober living houses must observe the house rules, like mandatory curfew.

Random drug testing makes sure that residents are following through on their sobriety. This is one of the defining factors for sober living. If they have relapsed, individuals are often not allowed to stay on the property, and will only be allowed re-admittance based at the house manager, house owner, or a physician’s discretion. The case by case basis serves as a form of accountability that steers people toward recovery, no matter how difficult the prospect.

Sober Living and Long-Term Healing

Sober living facilities have high success rates proven by multiple researchers nationwide. Recovering addicts who live with others in recovery often reach a sobriety rate of 65 to 87 percent. Patients often relapse when they leave their primary treatment programs and attempt living alone or return to the same environment that they left before treatment.

The real challenges wait in recovery. In sober living and life after, the constant presence of medical professionals (like in detox) is absent. Sober living encourages residents to make the transition back to normal life.

Sober living environments are structured to encourage peer bonding. Shared experiences can create a recovery movement – a sense of community and understanding that can shatter stigma and make individuals feel less alone on their path to recovery.

Based on success rates and the supportive environment within, sober living homes make recovering addicts feel safe, while working towards healing, happiness, and longevity.

Houston Named 3rd Best Sober Living City In The U.S.

Posted on October 19, 2016December 2, 2016 by JohnAdmin

If you’re hip to the addiction news site, TheFix.com, then you already know that the site covers newsworthy articles on recovery. And it’s a site where you’ll find news on celebrities who have struggled with addiction, the politics on addiction, and insights into how to heal from addiction.

Along those lines, one article on TheFix.com prioritizes the top best cities for living sober, and Houston was named the 3rd Best Sober Living City. Houston is the most populated city in Texas and the fourth most popular city in the United States, located in the Southeast part of Texas near the Gulf of Mexico. According to the 2014 census, there are 2.239 million people living in the city of Houston, was founded on August 28, 1836, and was incorporated as a city on June 5, 1837. The city offers pleasant weather nearly all year round – it’s winters are mild and summer temperatures are relatively low. However, the humidity in Houston can make the heat feel intense.

The flair of Houston is it’s southern hospitality, and that’s true for recovering addicts too. Apparently, there are 580 AA groups, which combined hold around 2,400 meetings a week for Houston residents and non-residents alike. At meetings, attendees tend to arrive early to mingle, meet, and support each other’s recovery process.

The recovery services found in Houston, such as sober living homes and drug rehab facilities, make it attractive destinations for finding sobriety. And even if you’re visiting Houston from out of town, the city has sober living options for you. Apparently, the city has Clubhouses, which allow for a social atmosphere but without the alcohol. Clubhouses offer hospitality and warmth for those who need human connection versus connection with substances. Among the various reasons to live in Houston (to enjoy the Texas lifestyle for example) now there is another reason – the city’s thriving sobriety community. There is a large fellowship of like-minded recovery addicts who have their eyes on long-term sobriety.

If you’ve made the decision to get sober and start your recovery from addiction, Houston may be the ideal place for the sober community alone. Even if you’re living elsewhere, maybe you want to make a cross country move. Sometimes it’s necessary to pack your bags and move to another city or state in order to find long-term sobriety.

If you’re living on the West Coast, for example, getting away from friends or family or peers who encourage drug use might become necessary. And if you’re ready to enter sober living but you’re concerned about confidentiality in your home town, then visiting a sober living home out of state might be the right choice for you. In order to get sober once and for all, you might be looking for a sober living home that is not only not in your neighborhood, but far from your friends, family, and familiar routine.

Then again, you might be lucky. You might already live in Houston and you only need to drive yourself over to the sober living home of your choice.