Sober friendships are a great way to start a new outlook on life when you are in recovery. Recovery from drugs and alcohol is a very taxing event on your mind and body. The number one priority is to maintain your sobriety. The last thing on your mind is the thought on making new friends. Though if and when you do, these new people in your life can help to not only give you the support you need but to also help in guiding you on a new life path. Sober friendships can help to put you at ease in surrounding that might trigger old feelings, and help to resolve any issues you might have with older friends. There are a few ways to make new sober friends and continue your path to recovery.
Taking up a hobby that involves other people is a great way to meet new people. Sports, music, exercise, biking, classes, and many others are great ways to find new friends. New activities and friends can help you both achieve what you need. Support groups are another great way to meet new sober friends. Joining a group that focuses on your issues will help you to find common ground with someone new. Partaking in sober activities and functions are another way to find new sober friendships. You can find these events online or even through meetings and support groups.
For more on sober friendships visit Life Hack HERE
There are times when someone you look up to, inspires and influences you comes into your life in a particular way. During the 1990’s Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails was deep into the lifestyle of rock n roll, and the excess of drugs and alcohol. After a meeting with one of his inspirations, David Bowie (who had been sober for many years), it was determined that Bowie and Nine Inch Nails would tour together. While on tour, Trent was delving deeper into his addiction, something that David knew all about due to his own past struggles. One of the things that David said to Trent that always stuck with him was “You know, there is a better way here, and it doesn’t have to end in despair or in death, in the bottom.”
After some time, Trent finally got sober. A few years later, Bowie came through L.A. Reznor been sober for a fair amount of time, and wanted to thank Bowie for the way he helped him on his path to sobriety. As they were talking, David said “I knew. I knew you’d do that. I knew you’d come out of that.” That moment has stuck with Trent Reznor since it happened.
It’s very possible to have an interaction with someone who you’ve looked up to. But to have the ability to make a difference in someones life takes it to another level.
For more on Trent Reznor’s story visit Rolling Stone HERE
From 1981 to 1997, Pat O’Brien was a sportscaster for CBS Sports. Following his departure, Pat continued his career as an anchor on Access Hollywood and The Insider. In 2005, O’Brien entered rehab for his alcoholism after a scandal in which he left several graphic voicemail’s. Since the scandal, Pat has embraced his path to sobriety, as today, he helps many celebrities that are going through the same difficulties he went through.
When you come out of a treatment center, there are always those around you that think you’ll be fine just hanging out like you used to. Yet those friends don’t quite understand that being around these situations could act as a trigger to revert back to old ways.
Restraint is something that is a much needed coping mechanism to help deter one from falling down that old path again. Resisting drinking socially, is quite hard once you are out of recovery, especially when all you want to do is be with your friends. Putting your best interests in front of others is key to staying sober. Sobriety first. If the situations are making you uncomfortable maybe it’s not the right time to be there.
Perhaps if you plan on going out to a party for the evening, you bring your own non-alcoholic beverages. Most people who are hosting parties will be perfectly fine with that. Find other people around at the party that are doing something else besides drinking. Start playing a game with others to keep you busy and entertained. Some people there will want to try and delve into why you are now sober. You don’t have to answer that question, as it’s none of their business.
There might come a time when you are more than comfortable talking about your journey to being sober. Other times, not so much. The only thing you can do is what feels best for you. Maintain relationships with those around you that make you feel comfortable and respect your decisions. It’s perfectly fine to be a little apprehensive about going out with others. Trust your instincts and keep company with those that can help you keep you in check.
For more on how to deal with these situations read more on The Fix HERE
There’s a good chance that you’ve heard of the word mindfulness. In fact, today many people have heard of mindfulness, but not exactly sure what it is or how to do it. Yet, many recovering addicts have been introduced to mindfulness in their recovery and have stayed committed to the practice because of its many benefits.
Mindfulness is the practice of staying present and being aware of what’s going on inside of you and outside of you. It’s a practice that asks you to avoid worrying about the past and fantasizing about the future. Instead, mindfulness invites you to keep your mind focused on what’s going on right here, right now. It’s a simple task, but it can become challenging depending upon your level of emotional turmoil and stress.
As mentioned earlier, a practice of mindfulness comes with enormous benefits. Some of these include:
Facing Triggers With Greater Ease
One of the greatest advantages of mindfulness is that it gives you the ability to respond to triggers in a more healthy way. For instance, if you’re used to drinking when you’ve been triggered emotionally, then you have developed a habit, a conditioning, of reaching for alcohol when you’re in emotional turmoil. However, when you’re being mindful, you have a greater capacity to stop yourself. You have the ability to stop the habit of drowning your emotions in alcohol, and instead use a healthier coping tool. You might journal, call a friend, or exercise instead.
Gaining a New Perspective
Most of the time when we are lost in our thinking, we are caught up in the emotional field of our thoughts. For instance, if you have the thought that your housemate is a jerk, you might begin to think about all the things that make it so difficult to be with him. With that line of thinking, you might begin to feel bitter, angry, resentful, or hopeless. However, with a practice of mindfulness, there is a greater chance that you’ll have a different perspective. Although you might still have the thought that he is a jerk, you might also have a thought that he may be difficult because he’s going through a hard time. Or you might feel some compassion for him. Instead of letting your ruminating thoughts bring you down, mindfulness helps keep you connected to the present moment where fresh ideas and new perspectives can be found.
Learning More About Yourself
One of the most significant parts of recovery is the opportunity to learn more about addiction and how the illness has affected you. Recovery is also a chance to learn about the factors that might have led to addiction in the first place. A regular practice of mindfulness can bring insights and self-understanding. When you grow the ability to stay present, you also grow your ability to become more aware of yourself. And with awareness you can then make different choices.
Mindfulness is an important practice of rewiring the brain. Staying present with your experience gives you the ability to notice your thinking, change your thoughts, become aware of your triggers, and stop yourself when you think you might do something to sabotage your recovery. In fact, many recovering addicts have found mindfulness to be an essential practice for healing.
If you’re going to set some goals for yourself in recovery, there’s a few important steps you should know about how to do that. First, having goals is important! If you don’t have any goals, then you may not know what you’re reaching for. When you’re in the middle of a craving, for instance, and if you have a goal for the future, you’re more likely to resist the craving because you know what you’re staying sober for. Goals give us direction, hope, motivation, and the power to keep going when faced with challenges.
If you don’t yet have a goal, think about what you want. Are you getting sober in order to advance in your career again? Are you getting sober to heal a marriage? What would you like to see happen in your life? Once you have an idea of what you want, begin to formulate a sentence about it. For instance, your initial goal might be “I am sober to repair my marriage and in the next six months I will call my spouse every day.”
Now that you have a rough idea of what you want and you’ve formulated it into a sentence, consider the following guidelines for making a goal SMART:
Specific – A goal is specific when it is clearly defined. If a goal is not defined well, it might be too general that you won’t know exactly where you’re going. Often a goal can lead the way. It can be the light at the end of the tunnel.
Measurable – One way to make your goal specific is to make it measurable. Make it something within your reach so that once you get there you can reach for another goal.
Attainable – Having goals that are unrealistic and unattainable only set you up for failure. Once you reach a goal it can boost your confidence and keep you going stronger than before.
Relevant – Your goal should be relevant to the direction in which you want to go. Although you might have goals in other areas of your life, if you’re focused on your sobriety, your goals should be recovery-related.
Time-Bound – Goals also need to have a deadline. I’m going to attend AA meetings for onemonth in order to boost my sobriety and lifestyle change. Goals need to have a time limitation on them so that you know the time in which you want to achieve them.
Now that you know how to make a goal SMART, think again about that goal. It was: I am sober to repair my marriage and in the next six months I will call my spouse every day.”
Perhaps this goal can be revised a bit to make it more SMART-friendly. For instance, you may need to separate this into two goals. One to address your sobriety and the other to address the marriage. Calling your spouse once every day for six months does meet the criteria above. It is a goal that is specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound. To add to this, you can create a second goal about sobriety, such as, I will remain sober for at least six months and attend one 12-step meeting each day and call my sponsor weekly. Of course, these two goals together can support each other.
For success in your sobriety, it’s incredibly important to have goals in your recovery! Now, you know how to make them SMART.
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When you first enter recovery, it seems as though you’re standing in the epicenter of the world’s biggest mess. Not only is everything in your life off balance, but you hate everything too. It’s a very confusing and frustrating time — with all the built up anger you have towards the world and your loved ones, and being resistant to recovery and a skeptic as to how/why it works. Everyone is also way too enthusiastic with their “recovery mantras”! Of course, after you’ve put in some hard-earned work into the days, weeks and months, the same words of sober wisdom you heard upon entering recovery, begins to resonate with you.
As Beth Leipholtz, contributor writer for The Fix, recalls: “I found myself leaning on them for support, reminding myself of them daily and even repeating them to newcomers. They suddenly made sense to me, as sobriety became something I worked toward rather than against. But my favorite thing about these sayings are that they don’t just apply to sobriety — they apply to my life on a daily basis.”
Here’s a list of the seven truest sayings in recovery:
Strive for progress, not perfection.
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
No matter where I go, there I am.
I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Easy does it.
Live life on life’s terms.
One day at a time.
Click here to continue reading about what they’ve meant for Leipholtz’s sobriety journey.
