Sober Life Archives - Page 7 of 8

Being Of Service, Because Helping Others Helps Us All

Posted on February 14, 2017August 30, 2017 by JohnAdmin

If you ever attend an Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meeting, you will undoubtedly hear about the program’s 12th and final step:

Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

This important and final step isn’t something that recovering addicts focus on until they gain a strong foothold in their own recovery process, but it is immensely valuable to them when they do. Service to others teaches us everything from compassion to patience and even gratitude for own ability to escape addiction, not to mention the many ways it benefits people in recovery.

Most people have at least a baseline understanding of why volunteering and helping others is such a good thing. But do you understand why it’s so valuable in recovery? If not, you’re in luck; we’re about to break it down right now.

Supports Your Recovery

Before we have the opportunity to help others, we must first help ourselves. Recognizing how service to others benefits you is the first step to understanding what makes it so important.

No matter where you go for assistance with your addiction, you’ll find others who came before you waiting. Recovering addicts often go on to become counselors, therapists, addiction nurses, and nursing assistants in residential facilities all across the country. They lead AA meetings, do outreach work, and sometimes, just lend a helpful ear to other addicts.

Recovering addicts who work within the addiction industry understand what you’ve been through and what it takes to come out the other side. In nearly all cases, they, too, have benefitted from the attention of a recovering addict early on their journey.

The adventure comes full-circle with each newly recovered addict helping those still at rock bottom. In this way, the movement grows and more people reach healing over time. It’s important to be grateful for that help – much of which comes in the form of volunteer work – as you make your way into a sober life.

Improves Your Mood

Whether it’s within the recovery industry or just at your local animal shelter, service to others can improve your mood. This is a fact that science can demonstrate quite clearly; studies like this one show a clear link between regularly helping others and feeling happier, less anxious, and less depressed.

In fact, one London School of Economics study showed that people who volunteered at least once every two to four weeks reported feeling happier than their non-volunteering counterparts – to the tune of almost 12 percent. In the recovery industry, where mood disorders and dual diagnoses are common, that’s a significant improvement.

Gives You Purpose

One of the most common complaints from people struggling with recovery is that they feel like they’ve lost their purpose or identity. Our lives become so entrenched in finding substances or seeking out behaviors that it becomes our entire being, even if it’s also what’s killing us at the same time. When that substance or behavior is suddenly removed from the equation, we’re left with facing up to our original selves and finding our place in life all over again. That can admittedly feel terrifying.

By volunteering or giving back to others, you give yourself a purpose, even if that goal is temporary. It’s a constant reminder of the fact that you are worthy of life (a sober life, at that), that you have something to offer, and that you deserve love just as much as everyone else. There’s nothing quite like feeling needed, and people who are fresh into sober living can certainly benefit from the lessons you have to teach them after you’ve walked the path for a while yourself.

There’s also nothing quite like the satisfaction of talking someone out of using when they call you, their sponsor, in the middle of the night. Sometimes what we need most is just a friendly ear. Never doubt how much you provide just by offering someone a friendly ear.

Teaches You Valuable Social Skills

For most of us, re-learning how to socialize after we get sober is…well, challenging. We’re so used to the effects of drugs, alcohol, or even sex soothing awkwardness and getting us through challenging social situations that we’re sort of lost and delirious after it’s taken away. But that’s not a bad thing; learning to socialize without substances can lead to deeper, richer, more meaningful relationships with family, lovers, and friends.

Serving others (particularly other addicts) is always a learning experience, especially when it comes to social skills. It’s no secret that it can be challenging to watch other recovering addicts go through what you once went through. But the fact that you will learn how best to support them at rock bottom while still caring for your own mental health? That’s a life lesson you can apply all across the board.

Volunteering teaches us how to meet people where they are without risking ourselves in the process. We learn how to draw safe boundaries, how to hold onto those boundaries, and when to cut the rope and back off if it’s unhealthy. Best of all, we learn how to interact and appreciate the goodness inherent in people from all walks of life.

Reminds You of Your Roots

One of the most important ways helping others find their way benefits us in recovery is through the simple fact that it reminds us of our own recovery roots. Losing your connection with your recovery community is dangerous; immersed in an average life with no focus on recovery, it becomes easy to forget all of the struggle. We start to lose sight of that severe detox, the withdrawals, the people we hurt, and how much we lost because of substances.

You may even start to view occasional use or indulgence through rose-colored glasses, especially if you’ve had a drink or two without going overboard in the past. We can begin to convince ourselves that we’re normal, our lives are normal, and there’s no longer a reason to work our steps our plan. That’s exactly what leads to sudden and extreme relapses, many of which can have devastating consequences.

By helping others find their way, you stay humble and cognizant of how far you’ve come. Sure, it’s not easy to see someone struggling during the worst of times, but it is a stark reminder of how fast casual use can get out of hand. Cultivating compassion for people in that situation can even help us to reflect and cultivate compassion for ourselves.

Modern Dating As A Recovering Sex Addict

Posted on February 2, 2017September 28, 2018 by JohnAdmin

Sex addiction can devastate your life. It compromises your relationships, has the potential to put you in serious physical danger, and can even convince you to take actions you’d never otherwise engage in – like cheating on a long-term partner. It breaks up marriages, sabotages families, and drives a wedge between friends. It can also steal your ability to date for years – leaving you seriously lost and confused when you begin once again.

Dating as a sex addict is very different from dating as an average person. Much like an alcoholic who works in a bar, it is possible, but only with a steadfast dedication to work your recovery plan and stay accountable along the way. It is immensely easy to slip into bad habits and cross-addictions (like love addiction) along the way.

This, unfortunately, very often leads recovering sex addicts to avoid meaningful relationships altogether, sometimes for years or even decades.

Make no mistake: early recovery – regardless of which addiction you struggle with – is certainly not the best time to test the dating waters. But if you have years of reliable recovery under your belt, and your care team is confident in your ability to manage your addiction while dating, there’s nothing wrong with getting out there again. Figuring out how to do that in a way that’s healthy and positive?

Well…that can admittedly feel a bit awkward.

Recognize That Dating Is Awkward for Everyone

If you’re finding it difficult to manage awkward feelings, understand that this is really not something specific to the sex addict. Everyone experiences awkwardness, uncomfortable moments of silence, and squirm-worthy early relationship milestones like discussing your sexual or relationship history. Someone will inevitably spill a drink, drop pasta on their shirt, or say something completely inappropriate eventually – all you can do when this happens innocently is laugh it off.

The first date or two is especially nerve-jangling, especially if you and your date are just meeting for the first time or don’t have a past friendship to rely on.

Go into dating with the understanding that it will occasionally be awkward (and that’s okay). Don’t push those feelings down; instead, take stock of them. Write them down in a diary or discuss them in advance with your group or therapist. Work through them and develop healthy coping mechanisms rather than slipping into old behaviors (like being overly sexual too soon).

The awkwardness in early dating can actually be a learning experience; it teaches you much about what you want, what you don’t want, and what’s best for you – but only if you’re paying attention.

Be Honest about Your Motivations

Following healthy dating safety guidelines is a must. That means being honest with yourself about how your date makes you feel, how things are progressing, and whether or not you want to develop things further or are just seeking sex. Question your motivation regularly and be willing to admit when you’ve faltered.

Are you really attracted to them, or just slipping into old patterns? Are you considering sex on the first date, and if so, what’s motivating you to do that? Perhaps you find yourself going to bars and other high-risk locations; if so, why? Rushing things is often an indicator that you’re slipping back into your addiction – and that can go from bad to worse fast.

To be clear, sex early within the relationship (or often) isn’t always negative. There is no shame in enjoying a healthy, robust sex life, at least not when you go about it the right way and for the right reasons. And yes – even recovering sex addicts can go on to have healthy sexual relationships in the future.

Safety and Dating

For the recovering sex addict, there is a tendency to rush into relationships (or even just into sex) without paying careful attention to subtle red flags. Beware avoiding serious issues just for the sake of instant gratification. Doing so can place you in harm’s way, either right away or somewhere in the not-too-distant future. You might overlook a date’s pushy, brash attitude, or allow someone to convince you to have sex early on in the relationship. Or, a date might treat you poorly, but as they demonstrate sexual interest, you let it slide.

Having respect for your safety (and that of your date is a must for recovering sex addicts.

Start with basic dating safety guidelines:

Always meet in public for at least the first handful of dates; if something goes wrong, you’ll have other people around you to help.
Be sure that someone (whether it’s your mother or your support group) knows where you’re going, when you’re going, and when you can expect to be back.
If you carry a smartphone, have a friend text you mid-date to confirm that everything is going okay.
Be honest with your motivations. If a date asks for sex, and you’re not ready, say so and stick with your decision.
Pay close attention to how your date treats waiters, ushers, and other service staff. This is almost always a predictor of how they will treat you.

Sometimes the issue is not about sex, but about avoiding red flags simply for the sake of intimacy. Are they overly sexual or aggressive? Are they pressuring you to go to a more private location when you’re not sure you’re ready? If so, it’s okay to cut your losses and end the date. Walking away is better than putting yourself in a potentially dangerous situation.

Pace Yourself

Variety is the spice of life. In that vein, dating multiple people before you settle into a long-term relationship can be very healthy. Along the way, you’ll learn exactly what it is you want from a relationship, what you don’t want, and where your boundaries lie. This is a healthy, positive thing, especially for sex addicts who may be relearning how to have healthy relationships in the first place.

That said, don’t let your new foray into dating rush you. Pacing yourself is important; seeing a different person every night of the week is more likely to be indicative of addictive behaviors than of a genuine willingness to form healthy relationships.

That’s especially true when multiple dates end with some form of intimacy. For as much as the media will tell you that dating is a “game,” the reality is that healthy dating requires time to digest the experience had on each date so that you can determine how you feel about it.

There are no hard and firm numbers here, but if you’re scheduling more than a date or two a week, bring it up with your support network. Talk about what’s motivating you. That’s where abject transparency comes in.

Transparency: The Sex Addict’s Most Important Tool

In an everyday dating situation, you would be solely responsible for factors like choosing a partner, deciding what to disclose to them of your sexual history, or deciding when to take your relationship to the next level. As a recovering sex addict, you must be willing to admit that your decision-making process could be influenced by addiction, and thus, might be biased or unhealthy. Transparency – not just to yourself, but to one or more persons outside of yourself – is one of the most important tools you have for maintaining healthy relationships.

That’s usually where support groups (or in some cases, therapists) come in.

Before you start dating, reevaluate your support network. Do you have people who you can talk to, people who you can relate to and who will understand your struggles? Are you absolutely willing to bring up issues of intimacy with them when they arise? If the answer is no, bolster your support network first.

Find a Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) group, a local support group, or a therapist who can be a stop check your emotions and motivations along the way. Work out a recovery plan and follow it to the letter before and during your dating experience. If you catch yourself being dishonest, either about your feelings or about something that happened on a date, report it back to your trusted support group as quickly as possible.

Getting the support you need as a sex addict is the best way to achieve your goals, be they simple sobriety or meaningful future relationships. Understand that slips and intimacy problems aren’t just probable; just as with any addiction, they’re nearly guaranteed. That doesn’t mean you won’t be successful – it just means you need to be willing to stick with it long-term to see the results. That isn’t always easy when you’re used to instant gratification, but it’s very worthwhile. Practicing honesty while ensuring that you have sobriety support in place is the best way to dust yourself off and recommit to your recovery plan.

If you’re struggling with sex addiction and don’t know where to turn, contact us today to see how we can help: 877-394-8810

5 Adrenaline-Boosting Activities To Fuel Your Sobriety

Posted on January 30, 2017January 30, 2017 by JohnAdmin

Recovery isn’t always a piece of cake. Okay, that’s probably the understatement of the century. In the first 12 months after dedicating yourself to sober living, finding ways to have fun can become a separate challenge in its own right. Boredom (the recovering addict’s biggest nemesis) can strike and increase our risk of relapse. Your energy levels may reach an all-time low as your brain’s chemistry resets and adapts to this new normal.

For people who relied on substances to motivate or energize them through the day, even just getting through work or daily tasks can seem daunting. The concept of having “fun” without your drug or behavior of choice might seem as foreign as learning to use chopsticks for the first time, but it is possible!

If you’ve been feeling bleak, restless, and bored with your new sober living lifestyle, it may be time to dial up the notch a bit. Finding new ways to boost adrenaline and endorphins in a way that’s healthy and safe is not only possible but also highly recommended. These adrenaline-boosting activities will have your heart pumping and your excitement level skyrocketing, all without the need for drugs.

Better still, they’ll provide you with valuable insight about your personality along the way.

Running

A great many recovering addicts take up jogging or running after detox, and with good reason: it boosts adrenaline and improves overall health when undertaken correctly. Fitness Magazine states that just five to 10 minutes per day can significantly decrease your risk of cardiovascular events like heart attacks and stroke, improve joint strength, and even provide you with much-needed meditative alone time. If that’s not enough to convince you, some studies show a distinct link between running, faster physical recovery, and fewer drug cravings over time.

There’s also the “runner’s high” many people experience when they run; this feeling is tied to happiness-boosting brain chemicals, and may help to reduce stress and depression. The term “run it off” is very commonly heard in addictions therapy groups simply because running can let you “burn off” negative emotions like anger, sadness, or despair.

Psychologically, running teaches us to set reasonable goals, how to judge our own capabilities, and how to be confident in our physical and emotional strength, too.

So how can you make running a part of your everyday life? First, understand that it’s not as easy as slapping on the trainers and running for 30 minutes. That’s too much and too fast. First, see your doctor and have a full physical. If he or she approves, start with a 5-minute walk or jog one to two times per day. Then, slowly work towards 30 to 60 total minutes per day.

High-Impact Cardio & Aerobics

Craving company and feeling a bit restless, bored, and lonely? High-impact cardio or aerobics may be just the ticket to kick you out of that funk. Fast-paced routines like spinning, Tae Bo, and aerobic dance get you moving to the tune of fun, energizing music, picking up your heart rate and boosting adrenaline while improving overall health.

Which formats are best? The answer isn’t simple; it can differ from person to person. If you’re new to exercise in general, try starting with water aerobics for low-impact, high-energy fun. If you’re in fairly good physical shape, you have more options. The average, otherwise healthy individual should be fine to take up a basic 20-minute aerobic, spinning, or Pilates routine quite easily.

High-impact cardio is an experience best had in the comfort of others, so hit up your local gym or studio and join a group whenever possible. Excitement is contagious, and you’ll get an adrenaline boost simply from being around others who are having good, clean fun.

Rock or Mountain Climbing

Climbing the walls with boredom in recovery? Put two feet on solid ground again and save your climbing for the real deal – rock climbing. This timeless, ancient sport has been around for centuries, and it often seems that humans just have an innate nature to climb on top of the world around them. As children, we climb rocks, trees, and occasionally, objects we shouldn’t in the living room, much to our parent’s chagrin. I was often labeled a mountain goat for the same reason in childhood; if it was there, I was going to climb on top of it and feel like I owned the world.

There’s just something intrinsically thrilling about climbing. It gets your heart pumping, forces you to think on your feet, and requires you to sharpen your focus and take in the environment around you. Physically, it improves muscle strength and coordination, and may even reduce the risk of cardiovascular events.

Mentally/emotionally, it teaches you how to set and achieve reasonable goals, how to persevere, and how to be confident in your ability to make decisions, even when under pressure. It isn’t difficult to outline exactly how each of those could benefit someone in recovery.

Before you run out and start scaling the nearest cliff, understand that safety is important. Find a local club or organization and have someone teach you how to climb safely and properly. Never, ever climb alone or without equipment – doing so is dangerous and becomes less about enjoying healthy, safe adrenaline-boosting activities and more about putting yourself at risk.

Scuba Diving

Live near the ocean or maybe a lake? If so, you’re in luck. You’re one of the very fortunate few who probably have access to scuba diving – an activity that gives you a first-hand glimpse into an entire world most of us will never see. Scuba diving isn’t particularly taxing (though better cardiovascular health is possible from proper breath management and swimming), so it’s not the exercise itself that boosts adrenaline here; it’s the wonder of the underwater world.

Discovering fish, coral, plants, and shells up close and first hand induces a feeling that’s seldom found in other activities. You become the Jacques Cousteau of the recovery world, boldly going where no man (well, okay, few men, anyway) have ever gone before. That feeling of childlike wonder and amazement is hard to find in recovery, especially if you relied upon substances for excitement.

If you can afford to do so, breaking free of your everyday experience and heading to Costa Rica or the Pacific Islands will afford you one of the most sensational experiences you’ll ever have. But even just exploring the closest underwater environment? That’s pretty amazing, too.

Skiing, Snowboarding & Tobogganing

Last, but certainly not least, is downhill skiing, snowboarding, and tobogganing. All three of these winter sports let you indulge your inner child and fly down the hill super-fast. Get going good enough, or learn to take ramps and jumps, and you may even find that it feels like you’re flying. It’s the sheer speed and joy experienced that’s the ticket to happiness in these three iconic winter sports, so the next time the snow hits, snuggle up in a snowsuit and head out into the frigid cold for some fun.

If you have a local ski hill nearby, take a beginner’s skiing or snowboarding class to help you learn the basics. Most hills will rent you both boots and equipment for the duration of your stay. Set yourself basic, reasonable goals and continue to practice patiently. Even though you start out on the bunny hill, you will eventually make it to the black diamond runs. Good things come with time and proper safety precautions, and you’ll find your confidence growing right along with your skill.

Don’t have a local ski hill? Take a drive around and find a good hill that doesn’t end in a roadway. Break out the equipment and make use of nature’s natural ski hills all around you. Wondering what to do if you don’t get snow? Just switch things up and get out on the water for a bit of wakeboarding or water skiing instead.

It’s easy to get into a rut in recovery. Attend meetings. Go to therapy. Eat. Shower. Rinse, lather repeat. All of these are crucial to your success, but so is having a bit of fun and excitement now and again. Remember, whatever adrenaline-boosting activity you choose, it’s important that you move forward safely and with guidance. It’s not about just jumping into the path of danger without any consideration for your health. It’s about is honing your ability to take positive risks as you develop new and healthy hobbies.

Learning From Addiction Recovery Success Stories

Posted on January 19, 2017January 19, 2017 by JohnAdmin

One of the main tenets of recovery, whether you attend AA or a residential treatment center, is service to others. The theory is that by helping others, we also help ourselves, especially when it comes to people who are still mired in their own rock bottom struggles. It also allows us to give back to the recovery community that’s given us so much help along the way. Of course, all of this takes time; jumping directly into a life of service in the first few weeks of sobriety can often be too much.

If you’ve recently decided to get sober, it’s very likely that you’re experiencing a wide range of emotions about doing so. The prospect of spending the rest of your life without your drug of choice can seem daunting (that’s why we advocate taking one day at a time). So, too, can relapse and setbacks seem like you’ll never recover again. Fortunately, this is mostly negative internal dialogue; there’s so much hope for you, regardless of where you’re starting.

Learning from the success stories of others who have gone before us is one of the best ways to remember that recovery from addiction is not only possible, but is also so rewarding too. Here, you’ll discover important lessons learned by three individuals, a life coach, a celebrity, and a medical professional, each of whom has much to teach you about the journey to recovery.

Alison Cebulla

Looking at life coach Alison Cebulla today, you’d never know that she was once mired in the depths of a methamphetamine addiction. She’s polished, poised, and driven to succeed, but she has had her own share of struggles, too. Alison details her story on Will Powered, painting a picture of how the daily ritual of using once sucked her in and almost claimed her life.

“The whole process was a ritual: getting the drugs, getting a friend or group together at someone’s home, taking the drugs out, doing the drugs, etc. Then the drugs themselves would facilitate talking, stimulating endorphins that would keep us chatting all night until the sun came up.”

Her story is also a strong reminder of how casual use can insidiously turn into more serious, long-term addiction. Alison didn’t use once and instantly get hooked. She was a weekend warrior like many of us are in the beginning, using to remove the awkward and uncomfortable feelings experienced with socialization. But just as it often is with other addicts, she, too, eventually found herself using more and more often.

So what was Alison’s tipping point? Her sign came in the form of a card from her mother, who reminded her that she was loved and cherished by her family. She sought help through her university’s health clinic and committed herself to a program that helped her heal.

Learning from Alison’s Story

Today, Alison gives back to the community in many ways. She is an outspoken supporter of better nutrition, self-love, and intuition. What we can learn from Alison is that dedication to sobriety and a willingness to ask for help is really what leads to success for us, even when we’re in our darkest hour. That commitment to the recovery community, be it in asking and accepting help or in helping others yourself, is one of the most crucial facets of recovery in general.

David Loeffert

To those who don’t know better, David Loeffert may seem like an unlikely candidate for addiction. After all, he didn’t become an addict until later in life. Before David even began experimenting with substances, he had achieved relative success by completing a Bachelor of Science, a Masters in Health Sciences, and a Ph.D in Respiratory Medicine. By 27, his innovative work was published in the well-respected Chest medical journal; an additional 57 published papers afforded him great respect all around the world in his field.

Unfortunately, David’s success wasn’t enough to protect himself from the perils of addiction. After being prescribed medication (painkillers and other controlled substances) in medical school by an unscrupulous physician who later lost his prescribing license, he found himself severely addicted to multiple medications. Despite the fact that David recognized and understood addiction particularly well, being in the medical profession himself, he rationalized his use, much as all of us do before we hit rock bottom.

Many of us need multiple rock bottoms before we finally get it, and David was no exception. Even after being arrested for forging a prescription in front of his colleagues, he continued to doctor shop and take his drugs of choice. As word of his addiction grew, he was alienated from his colleagues and work more and more often, until eventually he became homeless and had nothing left. David tried rehab but repeatedly failed after he returned to everyday life.

What eventually turned David’s story around was deciding to enter a 1-year treatment program. The residential facility he chose removed him from his life long-term, thereby divorcing him from habitual patterns completely. Once removed, he was able to focus on treating his addiction holistically. As David slowly healed his emotional, physical, and spiritual struggles, he was able to leave substances behind, but not without continuous recovery work.

Learning from David’s Story

So what can we learn from David’s story? The biggest lesson here is in the fact that, for the vast majority of us, healing from our addictions means being willing to let go of our old lives altogether and focusing on our programs full-time. For some, that means moving away from a hometown and never coming back (save for the occasional visit). For others, that’s long-term sober living facilities or rehabilitation centers. It’s an allegory of the fact that recovery isn’t something that can be half-done here and there – it’s a permanent lifestyle change.

Carrie Fisher

It might seem strange to include Carrie Fisher in an article about recovery successes, especially given her untimely death in 2016. But truthfully, Carrie is an excellent example because of her willingness to be public and outspoken about her struggles, especially with regard to dual diagnosis. Like many other addicts, her struggles with addiction began early on with trauma and mental illness. Coupled with the pressures of being a leading lady in one of the most popular film series at the time, “Star Wars,” it was a recipe for disaster. At just 13, Fisher was already experimenting with marijuana. A couple of years later, she had moved on to LSD. By 21, she found herself right in the center of a severe cocaine addiction.

In an Australian news article, Carrie mentions that for her, it wasn’t even so much that she liked the drugs. Instead, it was more about the escape from life in general that pulled her in.

“I didn’t even like coke that much, it was just a case of getting on whatever train I needed to take to get high.”

Carrie continued to use as the years passed by, slipping more and more from public view. Despite being one of the most popular actresses of her time, fewer and fewer producers would hire her. Rumors circulated that her drug use was the cause, though she refuted it at many points when asked. A marriage to Paul Simon in the early 1980s worsened the problem; Fisher would desperately use in an attempt to keep up with her husband professionally. A short time later, she was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.

It wasn’t until the unfortunate and untimely death of her friend, R. Gregory Stevens, from drug use that Carrie really dedicated herself to sobriety. Though she wasn’t responsible – Stevens himself had an extensive history of drug use, and had died of drug-related health problems – she blamed herself for being unable to save him.

After Stevens’ death, she focused on healing. Her gift to the community came in the form of a book titled, “Postcards From the Edge.” This remarkably funny, often bare and vulnerable fictional story detailed the story of a woman who struggles to understand why people believe in God while undergoing rehab herself. Though it is fiction, Carrie herself has said that the story is (at least in part) inspired by her own struggles with addiction.

Later books, including Wishful Drinking, Delusions of Grandma, Shockaholic, and Surrender the Pink all contained snippets of her story. In this way, Carrie laid bare her struggles and made many people – actresses and everyday people alike – feel a little bit less alone in their struggle.

Learning from Carrie’s Story

Carrie Fisher’s story is a shining example of how mental health and addiction struggles can touch anyone, regardless of financial status, class, profession, or importance. Whether you’re a doctor or someone who doesn’t work at all, it is all too easy to slip into self-medicating stress and mental health problems with substances.

Carrie advocated lessening the stigma surrounding both mental health and addiction. She taught us that there is no shame in admitting that you have a problem or seeking help. Her story is also a tremendous example of how outward appearances can be deceiving; even if we’re pretending we’re okay, it doesn’t make it true. Asking for help and allowing others in is the best way to heal.

These are just three of the many success stories we can draw inspiration from in recovery. Others, like Johnny Cash, Jamie Lee Curtis, Kelly Osbourne, Drew Barrymore, and even the grandfather of modern psychology, Sigmund Freud, all struggled with substances at one point or another. Stories of success, most importantly, teach us that we are not alone and that there are many others out there just waiting to support us in our efforts if we only take the chance and reach out.

9 Relapse Triggers To Avoid During Recovery

Posted on January 3, 2017January 3, 2017 by JohnAdmin

Recovery and Post-Treatment Life

Recovery is the last stage in battling drug and alcohol addiction. However, it is a stage that has no definitive end. Once a person leaves primary treatment they will be a recovering addict for the rest of their life. This is because a return to drugs and alcohol can occur a day, a year, or ten years after primary treatment is over. Relapse is always a possibility when dealing with a chemical dependence.

Immediately following treatment, recovering substance abusers begin a journey involving regular therapy, 12 Step meetings, and transitional living. These post treatment tools help recovering addicts create a sober life.

Making Changes

Prior to leaving primary treatment, plans are made for recovery. Often times this involves sober living. The absence of former social circles that may have been connected to prior drug use is necessary.

Relationships carry a lot of emotional baggage in life and sobriety is dependent on as much serenity as possible. Cutting out past relationships is crucial for recovery during its most precarious stage. Eventually, after time, recovering addicts may be able to have relationships with people that they want to. They will be better equipped to handle any obstacle. But in the immediate future, it is important to embrace changes. Sobriety needs to be kept at the forefront of all choices in life after treatment.

The Dangers of Relapse

Relapse can happen at any time. Therapy, meetings, and new living environments may stall potential dangers, but unforeseen encounters may occur. There are so many dangers of relapse and each person is susceptible to different things. This is due to complex histories and experiences.

During recovery it is important to take participate actively in group meetings and therapy. Uncover repressed emotions that you have actively avoided through drugs and alcohol. Through the work of discovering deeper parts of yourself, you may be able to combat the dangers of relapse.

9 Triggers to Avoid

Toxic People

Cutting out harmful relationships in your life will help with recovery. Relationships constantly filled with trauma, chaos, anger, and hurt all need to be examined. Dysfunction and pain lurk at the base of every damaging relationship and during addiction recovery it is important to examine those aspects. Determining what people can remain in your life is a crucial step. Toxic people are triggers to avoid.

Certain Locations

Locations may be triggers to avoid. A former home where there may have been abuse, a school where you may have started using, or an apartment where your addiction grew, can all be triggers.

Transitional living provides a fresh start away from harmful locations where there may have been temptations. After sober living, a change of location is often encouraged. If it is a realistic option, therapists, sponsors, and group members will support the decision. A return to old environments, even after sober living, may still be a bad idea. It may simply be the healthiest choice to start over.

Stress

Avoiding stress is easier said than done. Stress can pop up when it is least expected. In sober living, you can cut down stress levels by engaging as much as possible in therapy, with roommates, or with twelve-step group members.

Prior to treatment, addicts would use drugs or alcohol to combat stress. But people in recovery will learn to express their stress through healthy alternatives like talking with a therapist or another trusted individual. Repression is never the answer, it only makes a problem to grow.

Avoidance

Addicts choose the quick fix over lasting healing, which is how addiction grows. Avoidance of discomfort, stress, or pain results in unmanageable despair, which can only be diluted by more drug or alcohol abuse. That is the vicious circle addicts find themselves in prior to treatment. Avoiding participation may be a trigger for relapse. The opposite of avoidance is honesty, communication, and a willingness to be vulnerable and present. Recovering substance abusers learn these skills in post-treatment life.

Social Media

Social media is a trigger to avoid during recovery. Facebook reminders showing old friends who may have been part of your drug addicted life may be a temptation to return to that life. At the other end, seeing old acquaintances happy and living a different life may be defeating, due to your current struggles. Social media distracts from the present, which is harmful in recovery.

Television

Television can be a trigger because it creates opportunities for escape. Triggers lurk in moments of idleness and solitude. It is important to be mindful and present during recovery and remove any distractions, like television.

Negative Thoughts

Negative thinking is a trigger to avoid during recovery. People are sober for the first time and may be too hard on themselves when they think of everything that has happened. It is important not to linger on negativity, but instead, focus on your present sobriety and future possibilities.

Lack of Sleep

Racing thoughts and an inability to calm down may contribute to irregular sleep patterns. However, it is important to aim for sufficient sleep. Eradicating caffeine, sugar, and television before bed can help. When people are tired, they cannot think clearly or focus on the present.

Fear

Hope strengthens, but fear weakens. Recovery is not always a smooth road. There are many challenges along the way, but those obstacles will not hurt you the way drug and alcohol abuse can. Fear is a trigger to avoid during recovery. Combat this powerful feeling by talking openly and honestly with fellow peers, therapists, and addiction experts. Writing every day can help pinpoint reasons for fear, while promoting healing.

A Different Life

Life after recovery is a different life. The obvious change is that life is now entirely free from drugs and alcohol. The goal is to stay that way.

Practice self-care every day. This involves seeking the help of a trusted therapist, pinpointing triggers, and eradicating those triggers from your life. Removing yourself from harmful sources is the best act of self-care and can be a major source of healing. Finally, it is important to welcome the changes in your new life. Your health and well being depends on it.

Maintaining Your Sobriety During The Holidays

Posted on November 22, 2016November 22, 2016 by JohnAdmin

Sobriety

Sobriety is the ultimate goal for any recovering drug or alcohol addict. It provides people with the chance to live a fulfilling life without addiction. However, due to the chemical nature of addiction, the pathway to sobriety is difficult. When an individual develops a chemical addiction to drugs or alcohol, they will always be at risk to start using again, regardless of the treatment program they completed. Rehabilitation teaches recovering addicts how to use coping mechanisms to deal with stress, how to have genuine relationships, and how to live in a healthy and peaceful way. The goal of sobriety is a continuous and ongoing process.

Suppression

Many who suffer from drug and alcohol addiction attribute their initial inclination towards substances as a way to suppress problems, thoughts, and life in general. Due to the effect of drugs or alcohol, memory loss, blackouts, and altered states are the ways life is experienced for an addict. Sobriety, however, allows the person to be in the moment and to actively participate in life, in an unaltered state.

The path of treatment, detox, rehabilitation, and recovery helps recovering addicts find the way back to living life in the present. Sobriety shows addicts how to handle life’s challenges without fear or a need to escape.

Harmful Influences on Sobriety

Alcoholism and drug abuse is caused by many factors: genetic predisposition, environmental factors, and chemical components, to name a few. But a big contributing factor in addiction is the presence of stress and triggers. Many times people are the stressful triggers that block sobriety and cause a relapse.

Influences on sobriety can span back decades in some cases. For instance, a history of childhood trauma is strongly linked to alcoholism and drug abuse in adults. And according to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), “people with both a positive history of early childhood trauma and co-occurring alcohol dependence have a more severe clinical profile, as well as worse treatment outcomes when compared with those with either early trauma or alcohol dependence alone.” During the holidays it is important to be extra cautious about the people and places that remind you of traumatic experiences or memories.

The complexities of friendships and family relationships are often overlooked. While family relationships are incredibly rewarding for some, they can be just as problematic, especially recovering addicts.

While childhood trauma and substance addiction (particularly alcohol) are strongly connected, those traumatic sources may still be present in adult life. While recovery treatment conducts therapy to recognize those harmful sources, it is important to remember how the holidays may introduce stressors again.

The Holidays

Living life without the need for substances is what all recovering addicts strive for, but it becomes much more difficult during the holidays.

Certain holidays like New Year’s Eve, Thanksgiving, or Christmas, all feature social aspects that many recovering abusers are not equipped to deal with on their own. Studies show that even people who do not suffer from addiction of any kind, experience high levels of stress during the holidays, for varied reasons. For recovering addicts, this problem increases dramatically due to their ongoing battle with a chemical dependency.

Emotions are elevated during the holidays due to societal pressures, financial expectations, and a lack of time. For those in recovery, the holidays are a particularly dangerous period because other stressors, like workplace stress, family obligations, and gatherings, consume schedules. During the holidays, things add on to regular stressors and everything else intensifies.

Staying sober through the holidays can be extremely challenging. For instance, holiday parties often feature alcohol, social interactions with family members or old friends, and environmental factors. These elements may all contribute to relapse.

One way to combat the social influences or alcohol offerings during the holidays is to prepare a response. Also, having an exit strategy is crucial. Develop a contingency plan with alternative activities and respectful reasons for leaving, if needed.

If there are old friends who you used to drink with or if there are family members who might bring up triggering memories, it is best to leave or skip the event all together. Making a concrete plan helps you keep control. When it comes to your sobriety, you have to put you and your health first.

Putting Yourself First for Your Health

During the holidays, it is important to practice self-care and set boundaries. Remember, self-care is never a selfish act. When you take care of yourself, you put the best and healthiest version of yourself out in the world. And that positively impacts others.

One way to stay sober during the holidays is to increase time with your trusted social support network. NIAAA states, “Recent investigations highlight the importance of assessing trauma among patients with alcohol use disorders and the positive benefits associated with the application of integrative psychosocial interventions that target both trauma-related symptoms and alcohol dependence.”

Therapists are known to have fuller schedules during the holidays. New patients seek out their services, while current patients book extra sessions. Book an extra session or ask to extend beyond the traditional forty-five to fifty minute session. Write down a list of concerns you have, situations that feel problematic, people you may be worried about seeing, and any other feelings that worry you.

More than anyone else, therapists deeply understand how stressful holidays and personal relationships can be. Prepare for your session and make the most of it. Additionally, writing down information about problematic situations, anxiety, and fears is a coping tool, encouraged in the mental health field. Journaling and writing helps relieve stress and promotes healing.

Set aside time. Make sure you take the time to focus, slow your breathing, regulate your emotions, and engage in calming activities like meditation, creative pursuits, or spending time outdoors. Keep your sobriety at the forefront of your mind, in addition to the bigger picture of health and happiness.

Remember to take the very best care of yourself during the holidays…and always.

What Does “Having Fun” Mean To You?

Posted on October 26, 2016September 28, 2018 by JohnAdmin

When you were addicted to alcohol and drugs, you might have developed an idea of fun. You might have concluded that to have fun, you’ve got to be high or drunk. You’ve got to be in an altered state of consciousness in order to do things you might not otherwise do (like act wild and crazy or just to be funny). You might have concluded that without alcohol or drugs, you’re boring and you’re friends are boring.

Truth is, you can have fun while sober too. You may have to change your idea of fun. You might also need to change some of your tastes and preferences when it comes to fun. Just like when you’re in a new country and you’re trying new foods, you learn to like things you thought you wouldn’t at first. Your tastes change by the time you go home and suddenly you’re eating foods you weren’t open to before.

In the same way, your tastes with exciting and enjoyable activities need to change. You might have enjoyed the thrill of being drunk while riding on a motorcycle. But obviously there’s a huge danger there. With the excitement of substance abuse come major risks, which is what likely prompted you to get sober. With the life change that sobriety brings, you may need to find new ways to enjoy yourself.

To find out what fun might mean to you, here is a list of effects that pleasurable and enjoyable experiences have on people:

Makes you lose track of time.
Puts a smile on your face.
Helps you genuinely feel connected to others.
Makes you feel good about life.
Puts you in a spontaneous mood.
Naturally gives you a feeling of freedom.
Helps you feel outrageous.
Gives you a feeling that you’re going with the flow.
Helps you feel a lack of responsibility.
Makes you feel carefree.
Makes you laugh.
Brings you a feeling of excitement.
Connects you with the stillness inside.
Allows you to take your responsibility hat off for awhile.
Makes you feel happy.
Helps you feel playful.
Lets you experience something new.

To experience these effects, here are some suggestions for getting the excitement out of life without drugs or alcohol:

Be Creative

One of the best ways to discover spontaneity is to get creative. And you can do that in a number of ways – writing a song, playing music, painting, dancing, or sculpting. Let yourself experience the pleasure of creativity.

Spend Time with Friends

You might not be getting wasted, but sometimes, having a good roaring laugh with your friends can be very rewarding. You might feel the connection you have with them and enjoy the rolling laughs. Like exercise, laughing too is known for having many health benefits, including immediately lightening one’s mood.

Listen to Music

There is an incredible amount of passion and vitality that can be found in the lyrics as well as in the notes of many songs. Plus, music can touch people in ways that nothing else can. It can bring inspiration, clarity of vision, and stir up our own passions.

Travel

As described above, travel can stretch a person in positive ways. There’s something about following wherever your heart leads and not having a care in the world. Traveling can bring the excitement of being on the open road or in a new country and meeting new friends.

Set a Goal for Yourself

One of the greatest feelings to have is one of accomplishment, especially with something you didn’t think you could do. If you set a goal and you work toward it day by day, you’re likely to reach it. And doing so, can bring great emotional and psychological rewards.

Have a Good Workout

Many men and women find excitement in running on the treadmill and firing away at a punching bag. Plus, when you see that you’re body is getting more tone and fit, you’ll probably experience some satisfaction and enjoyment. But you can also experience pleasure right in the act of working out when those endorphins are released in the brain. In fact, regularly working out actually comes with many health benefits that can support your mental, emotional, and physical recovery from addiction.

Pick Up an Old Hobby

If addiction forced you put aside something you were passionate about, now can be a time to pick that up again. It might have been riding a bike, playing the guitar, or learning about the stars. Now that you’re sober return to what brought you pleasure naturally.

These are a few suggestions for experiencing true fun in your life. Although an addiction might have taught you that you need to use substances to have fun, you can turn that around and enjoy your life substance-free.

If you or someone you know needs help managing the recovery process, contact us today to see how we can help: 877-394-8810

Russell Brand On Addiction & Recovery

Posted on October 24, 2016December 2, 2016 by JohnAdmin

You might know Russell Brand as a voice actor in the animated films Despicable Me in 2010, Hop in 2011, and Despicable Me 2 in 2013. He’s an actor, radio host, author, and now activist. Brand was born in England but is well known throughout the world.

Brand began his career as a comedian and later a presenter on MTV. His career began to develop further when he played his first major film role in St Trinian’s, and the following year he landed a major role in the romantic comedy-drama Forgetting Sarah Marshall. You might have also seen him in the 2004 show Big Brother’s Big Mouth.

What you might not know about Russell Brand is that he’s also a strong activist for recovery addicts. Take a look at a documentary about his life and you’ll hear him say that “we need to start treating addiction as a health issue and not a criminal one.” He also supported recovering addicts for a short time through the Give It Up Fund. Although he’s no longer supporting those in recovery financially, he continues to do so through his writing and his documentary.

Brand admits that he became addicted to drugs and alcohol at an early age. He finally gave it up at the age of 27, which he explains was the same age Amy Winehouse was when she died. But Brand admits that even at the age of 41, he’s continues to work hard at sobriety. It’s not easy. He admits in his documentary, “If I didn’t have my program, I’d be a drug addict today.”

And you can understand why Brand might have a hard time resisting drugs and alcohol day after day when you read about his experiences with heroin, for instance:

I cannot accurately convey to you the efficiency of heroin in neutralizing pain. It transforms a tight, white fist into a gentle, brown wave. From my first inhalation fifteen years ago it fumigated my private hell and lay me down in its hazy pastures and a bathroom floor in Hackney embraced me like a womb.

At the same time, he also knows the pleasures of remaining sober:

It is ten years since I used drugs or drank alcohol and my life has immeasurably improved. I have a job, a house, a cat, good friendships and generally a bright outlook.

Since getting sober, Brand has had the opportunity to act, host a radio show, and display his political activism. For instance, The Russell Brand Show began airing in April 2006 on BBC and later Brand co-hosted the radio show TalkSport with Noel Gallagher. In addition to hosting, Brand also produced a twice weekly podcast titled The Russell Brand Podcast in 2015. And he released his first autobiography in November of 2007 which received favorable reviews.

Although there have been some controversies in his public life, Brand’s life is a good example of the struggle men and women go through as they enter and remain committed to recovery. Certainly, it’s not easy. But it appears that Brand uses his enthusiasm and passion for the causes he cares about, including his own sobriety and the sobriety of others in recovery.

Putting Sobriety First

Posted on October 12, 2016December 2, 2016 by JohnAdmin

When you finally get sober, it’s a new beginning and fresh start. The real work begins to rebuild your life, relationships, and trust with others. Not to mention the rediscovery of yourself. Taking responsibility for what you’ve done is a great first step. Devoting time to putting sobriety first is absolutely necessary in order to assimilate back into society. At times it may seem selfish, but in the end, it’s the best thing you can do for yourself and others.

Devoting the time to sobriety just as you did for your addiction should come first. Putting what is most important first helps to set priorities and creates a sense of purpose. Recovery is not something that just happens. It takes time and work. Putting the effort in will pay dividends later on. Putting sobriety first will keep you alive, but also give you something to look upon as an accomplishment. Being able to set goals and reaching them is amazing.

When you get sober, the urge to help others comes in your mind a lot. Before you start helping others though, you have to make sure you are healthy enough to take that on. The weight of other peoples struggles will wear on you if you aren’t strong enough.

With the addictions you had, that wasn’t the real you. Instead you were masking yourself and emotions. Sobriety lets you see things clearly and for what they are. The idea that you are nothing without sobriety is real for a lot of people. Self awareness and care is not just for you but for those around you as well.

For more on putting sobriety first, visit Sober Nation.

Sober Dating + The Reasons You Should Try It

Posted on October 11, 2016December 2, 2016 by JohnAdmin

12 step programs have many rules that seem to take away from parts of life that can make you happy. That’s not to say that all the rules in the 12 step program aren’t there for a reason. One of the big rules is not dating anyone in your first year of sobriety. There is not a really good reason not to. In fact being involved in a relationship in your first year can help to alleviate some headaches for your sponsor. Below are a few good reasons why you should begin sober dating in your first year.

There is no rule in the “book” that says you can’t get involved with someone romantically. If you have a plan of attack on how to approach life after rehab, it makes sense that you can go about your life the way you want to, with some restrictions of course. But to deny yourself the feeling of being with someone you care about just doesn’t make sense. Sober dating is difficult, especially if put in a situation you aren’t ready for yet. Being with someone who is sober does help. The ability to share the experience and work together to continuously achieve the level of clarity you are searching for is worth it.

You can do what you want, as long as you are able to accept the consequences for your actions. You should know whether you are ready to get involved with someone after a few dates. Having to deal with heartbreak is a big reason why it’s suggested that you don’t get involved with someone, but if you are strong enough, you can get through it without relapsing. You have to be able to live your life. The steps and sponsors are there to help be a guide, but you have to be able to make your own decisions based on what is good for you. If you take what you’ve learned in recovery and apply it to everyday life, sober dating can be a wonderful thing for you and for your recovery.

For more about sober dating, visit The Fix HERE.